MightySceptile Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) So I'm trying to write a Pokemon Reborn fanfic. Yes, I know I'm not a very funny person, but that's beside the point, I'm gonna try and write one. It'll basically be the same story as a Pokemon Reborn, just played through the eyes of three different characters. The story is that Miles and Melody see the advertisement for the Reborn League and decide to challenge it. As for Willow, he is a member of the International Police posing as a trainer to take down Team Meteor. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon and I don't own Pokemon Reborn or any of the trainer sprites, I'm just using them for my OC's. Miles Whyte- An 18 year old, rookie trainer born and raised in Sunyshore City from the Sinnoh Region. Miles is a passionate and hot-headed trainer, who seeks adventure and a challenge. So he decided to take the Reborn league, with his close and childhood friend Melody. Melody Blake- An 18 year old, rookie trainer born in the Unova Region, but moved to Sunyshore City at a young age and was raised there. Melody is a kind and level-headed trainer, who wants to explore and see the world. So she decided to go to the Reborn league, with her close and childhood friend Miles. Willow Knight- A 20 year old, member of the International Police, posing as a rookie trainer to investigate Team Meteor and PULSE (btw Willow Knight isn't his real name). Willow is a cool-headed and mysterious trainer working to take down Team Meteor. So he poses a trainer taking part in the Reborn League to get closer to Team Meteor. If anyone has any suggestions so far I'd be glad to hear them, but don't expect too much from me. Edited June 13, 2018 by MightySceptile I'm gonna go in the middle and make Willow 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candy Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 It's pretty neat It's always nice to see peepos getting inspired by this beautiful game~ One question in the set up tho, how are Miles and Melody childhood frens if they were born and raised in different regions/cities? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abyssreaper99 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Seems decent from what I can tell. Shouldn't this be in the creative writing section though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trufa Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 I had the same thought as @Candy, also can a 19 years old person be member of the international police posing as a rookie trainer? I know they start at age 10 but I think that is a bit too much haha. just wondering. Go for it, I hope to see a good history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dex Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 11 hours ago, Trufa said: I had the same thought as @Candy, also can a 19 years old person be member of the international police posing as a rookie trainer? I know they start at age 10 but I think that is a bit too much haha. just wondering. Go for it, I hope to see a good history. So your thinking something along the lines of 21 Jump Street maybe? I actually had the same idea myself. You kinda have to work out the details of which characters are in the know. I easily assume Amethyst (the character not the actual creator of the game) would know considering she's the Champion and you come to the region at her request. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 13, 2018 Author Share Posted June 13, 2018 14 hours ago, Abyssreaper99 said: Seems decent from what I can tell. Shouldn't this be in the creative writing section though? Oh I didn't know about that, where's the creative writing section? 15 hours ago, Candy said: It's pretty neat It's always nice to see peepos getting inspired by this beautiful game~ One question in the set up tho, how are Miles and Melody childhood frens if they were born and raised in different regions/cities? My thought process was that they met up at a summer camp in Undella Town and kept in touch ever since, but yeah I'm starting to think it'd be easier to say that Melody was born in Unova, but moved to Sinnoh when she was younger. 13 hours ago, Trufa said: I had the same thought as @Candy, also can a 19 years old person be member of the international police posing as a rookie trainer? I know they start at age 10 but I think that is a bit too much haha. just wondering. Go for it, I hope to see a good history. Well actually I originally was gonna make him 21, but I thought it was too old. Also I didn't know if people would buy a 21 year old as a rookie trainer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trufa Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) Well he could just have got the guts to start training, could be 60 years old if you like haha But I mean, you can start being a trainer at age 10, but being at international police at 19 (here in my country people start working by law at 18 aside being a trainee) so he would have one year of experience and is already working internationaly. Maybe you could elaborate more, like, he was skyrocket skilled and his father (or someone) get the job to him and that's his first work outside, I don't know. Hope you get my point @Dex I don't know, maybe haha Edited June 13, 2018 by Trufa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iDunno Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Cool, their bios remind me of the Pokemon Special/Adventures manga. What would be their teams? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 13, 2018 Author Share Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, iDunno said: Cool, their bios remind me of the Pokemon Special/Adventures manga. What would be their teams? Thanks that's what I was going for and for their teams, I'm actually playing through Reborn again as these characters to make their teams as accurate and realistic as possible. But for their starters Miles would get Chimchar, Melody would get Snivy, and Willow gets Froakie. 2 hours ago, Trufa said: Well he could just have got the guts to start training, could be 60 years old if you like haha But I mean, you can start being a trainer at age 10, but being at international police at 19 (here in my country people start working by law at 18 aside being a trainee) so he would have one year of experience and is already working internationaly. Maybe you could elaborate more, like, he was skyrocket skilled and his father (or someone) get the job to him and that's his first work outside, I don't know. Hope you get my point @Dex I don't know, maybe haha Thanks I'll take that into consideration Edited June 13, 2018 by MightySceptile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abyssreaper99 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 13 hours ago, Abyssreaper99 said: Seems decent from what I can tell. Shouldn't this be in the creative writing section though? It's under the et al. section named creative works. This is still relevant to reborn but any other fanfics you have just post in the Creative Works section Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 13, 2018 Author Share Posted June 13, 2018 5 minutes ago, Abyssreaper99 said: It's under the et al. section named creative works. This is still relevant to reborn but any other fanfics you have just post in the Creative Works section Oh ok, thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 23, 2018 Author Share Posted June 23, 2018 Okay I finally finished the first chapter of my fanfic, I posted it on Wattpad, I wasn't sure if I should post there, here, or both. But you tell me your thoughts on it though https://www.wattpad.com/586567817-pokemon-reborn-journey-of-miles-melody-willow Edit: Oh yeah, I'm still working on a better title of the story, so it might be different than what the link says Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 24, 2018 Author Share Posted June 24, 2018 Ugh, I really want to use a Noibat in this story, but I really don't want to train one up, I remember the torment I went through using one in my first run of Reborn and I don't want to go through that ever again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dex Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 On 6/23/2018 at 5:31 PM, MightySceptile said: Okay I finally finished the first chapter of my fanfic, I posted it on Wattpad, I wasn't sure if I should post there, here, or both. But you tell me your thoughts on it though https://www.wattpad.com/586567817-pokemon-reborn-journey-of-miles-melody-willow Edit: Oh yeah, I'm still working on a better title of the story, so it might be different than what the link says It needs more description, more basically everything besides dialogue. It's more like a script than an actual story at this point. I do like the idea of fleshing out the protagonist choices and having more than one involved in the events of the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 30, 2018 Author Share Posted June 30, 2018 8 minutes ago, Dex said: It needs more description, more basically everything besides dialogue. It's more like a script than an actual story at this point. I do like the idea of fleshing out the protagonist choices and having more than one involved in the events of the game. Okay thank you I'll definitely try that in my next chapter. Oh and when you mean description do you mean describing the scenery or the characters or both? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dex Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 Just now, MightySceptile said: Okay thank you I'll definitely try that in my next chapter. Oh and when you mean description do you mean describing the scenery or the characters or both? A bit of both actually. Like try to write actual paragraphs like you would see in any novel you read. Describe the characters, try to get across their moods, their reactions to events. Try to get across the environment around them. Like I said, what you have right now is basically just a script like you see for movies. It's good for helping to plot out what happens in the story, but not to use as the actual story format. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arys Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 5 minutes ago, MightySceptile said: Okay thank you I'll definitely try that in my next chapter. Oh and when you mean description do you mean describing the scenery or the characters or both? I think you lack description in everything. Describe the train, is it moving fast or crowded or describe their surrounding. Describe their tones when they talks. Are they talk angrily, shouting, etc. Sometimes you want to describe gesture so we can get a bit of their personality. And possibly all in paragraph format, but don't crammed all dialogues in paragraph. If different people talking, it's better to put them in different paragraph. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 30, 2018 Author Share Posted June 30, 2018 8 minutes ago, Arys said: I think you lack description in everything. Describe the train, is it moving fast or crowded or describe their surrounding. Describe their tones when they talks. Are they talk angrily, shouting, etc. Sometimes you want to describe gesture so we can get a bit of their personality. And possibly all in paragraph format, but don't crammed all dialogues in paragraph. If different people talking, it's better to put them in different paragraph. Ok that's for the advice. Also do you, or anyone, think this chapter was too short, after reading it again it felt a little too short, but I was afraid of making it too long. The originally plan was to have the first chapter be the train crash, walking to the Grand Hall, getting a quick look at Reborn, getting their starters, meeting and battling Victoria and Cain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted June 30, 2018 Author Share Posted June 30, 2018 49 minutes ago, MightySceptile said: Okay thank you I'll definitely try that in my next chapter. Oh and when you mean description do you mean describing the scenery or the characters or both? Actually you know what after thinking it over I'm just gonna re-do the first chapter and fix it the issues. Since I'm only on Chapter 2 and there's no real rush anyway. Plus I plan on making it a bit longer too while I'm at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 Ok I re-did the first chapter, sorry it took so long. Trying to find time between summer classes, free time, and this was kinda hard. Luckily I only have six more classes to go to. Thanks for all the helpful suggestions, hopefully I managed to make the story a little better, now I can start on chapter 2. https://www.wattpad.com/586567817-pokemon-reborn-grand-quest-chapter-1-all-aboard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MightySceptile Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 Oh right, uh if you look at the cover you'll see another pokemon there. Well you see another reason why I was taking awhile was because I had another character in mind and wasn't sure if I should add them or not. Because of the recent events in Episode 17 I think this character could fit into the story nicely. This character will appear in chapter 2 or 3 depending on the length on chapter 2. I really want to put a brief description of them now, but I wanna keep them a secret for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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