Girl obsessions?

[Lorisaur]

I hate my main weakness: I rarely fall in love, just once every some years, but when it happens... I'm finished. I have a horrible ability to rise again and I know that's a weakness of me

This time, I've tried to think about a girl to stop thinking the old one, and after few months I'm completely in love with her

She MIGHT correspond me but she is leaving in a month and is afraid to start distance relationship sooo... she says she wants time to think about it, something like 3/6 months I think, and i'm fine with it as I'm very patient

However, she does not live in my city. She is mostly online during the night and we usually chat continuously for 3/4 hors until at 3a.m. someone falls asleep. 

It's a tender thing, but during day, especially in the morning, I'm nervous and lunatic, probably because I'm always afraid that something will go wrong or that she is also in touch with some other guys who knows (altough I have complete faith in her, we are not together yet and if she had some other possible partner she probably wouldn't tell me soon to avoid making me suffer uselessly) 

My problem now is that I have reduced concentration abilities, always anxious and often pretty sad with no reason. I want to stop this as I'm 18 and I'd like to finally live my life without endlessly thinking one single person and without being addicted to her. I'll have to do high school's last year, so I MUST study and I can't waste time for this as it's a really bad and unconsistent reason to be sad and unsatisfied

Thanks for reading guys... and sorrybfor having bored you

[SilverOwl271]

I can relate a bit. I've often been the type to become addicted to someone and have a hard time wanting/being able to do other things. I also have attention/concentration issues, as well as anxiety and depression, and it hasn't helped in my relationships. In the last few years, though, I've gotten better about not being so obsessed with whoever I'm in a relationship with, which makes it feel healthier, as well as obviously allows me to grow as my own person. I hope things go well with this girl, and possibly even that you find yourself or develop more as a person. Not saying you're not fine the way you are, but it sounds like you might want to change. If so, try to take time for yourself, work on improving or making yourself happy; that kind of stuff. I wish you all the best both with relationships and as an individual.

[Lorisaur]

1 hour ago, SilverOwl271 said:

I can relate a bit. I've often been the type to become addicted to someone and have a hard time wanting/being able to do other things. I also have attention/concentration issues, as well as anxiety and depression, and it hasn't helped in my relationships. In the last few years, though, I've gotten better about not being so obsessed with whoever I'm in a relationship with, which makes it feel healthier, as well as obviously allows me to grow as my own person. I hope things go well with this girl, and possibly even that you find yourself or develop more as a person. Not saying you're not fine the way you are, but it sounds like you might want to change. If so, try to take time for yourself, work on improving or making yourself happy; that kind of stuff. I wish you all the best both with relationships and as an individual.

Thank you so much!!! At least I can hope to have a chance, both with and without others... now that I'm thinking about it... she has played Reborn, let's hope she get sthe idea to check the forum ahahah

[Candy]

Tbh I think the best thing one can learn to do is be happy with oneself. That is, more often than not, ppl who seek relationships do so because they're scared of being lonely. So if one learns to be happy by oneself, one can be happy whether one is in a relationship or not. This is how I stopped obsessing over finding a boyfriend- I'm happy as a single woman

Another thing you can do is put effort in your studies. As you say, it's your senior year, and ppl tend to get "senioritis" then. I don't really recommend overworking to avoid thinking of someone, but I think moderate study would keep you entertained.

It's not weird to think of someone you find attractive, but try not to make it an obsession because you might scare off the girl (or maybe not, but that's just my personal experience lol). And don't worry about whether she talks to other guys either. You'll prolly have to worry about that but in due time when she goes out with you. While she's single, she doesn't have to respect her prospective boyfriend, but I'd hope she will respect you if and when she becomes your girlfriend. Good luck!

[AzureNate]

On ‎8‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 3:46 PM, Lorisaur said:

I hate my main weakness: I rarely fall in love, just once every some years, but when it happens... I'm finished. I have a horrible ability to rise again and I know that's a weakness of me

This time, I've tried to think about a girl to stop thinking the old one, and after few months I'm completely in love with her

She MIGHT correspond me but she is leaving in a month and is afraid to start distance relationship sooo... she says she wants time to think about it, something like 3/6 months I think, and i'm fine with it as I'm very patient

However, she does not live in my city. She is mostly online during the night and we usually chat continuously for 3/4 hors until at 3a.m. someone falls asleep. 

It's a tender thing, but during day, especially in the morning, I'm nervous and lunatic, probably because I'm always afraid that something will go wrong or that she is also in touch with some other guys who knows (altough I have complete faith in her, we are not together yet and if she had some other possible partner she probably wouldn't tell me soon to avoid making me suffer uselessly) 

My problem now is that I have reduced concentration abilities, always anxious and often pretty sad with no reason. I want to stop this as I'm 18 and I'd like to finally live my life without endlessly thinking one single person and without being addicted to her. I'll have to do high school's last year, so I MUST study and I can't waste time for this as it's a really bad and unconsistent reason to be sad and unsatisfied

Thanks for reading guys... and sorrybfor having bored you

I can somewhat relate to your situation; a year ago, I did like this girl in my class, and we would chat often, whether online or irl during or after class. Like you, I rarely fall in love. Last time I did was about 8 years ago, and I barely knew anything about love. So what went wrong? Well, after observing her responses in conversations, I came to the conclusion that she does not like me in the same manner. It was admittedly difficult to move on, but I came to realize that I'm young, and have many other chances in life for a girlfriend. I decided to focus on other important things to get my mind off her, and it eventually worked! I'm not saying I know EXACTLY how you feel, but by reading a similar experience I've had, it would br somewhat helpful (at least I hope). You are younger than me, so you have even more chances haha. Also, relationships can affect your education; I know someone who graduated from high school in the same year as me, already got pregnant, and barely making end's meet. I hope this advice helps you out

[NullCat]

Oml trust me girls HATE long distance relationships but like know that sometimes we cheat to fill the void sorry 

[Lorisaur]

On 9/1/2018 at 7:50 PM, NullCat said:

Oml trust me girls HATE long distance relationships but like know that sometimes we cheat to fill the void sorry 

I would NEVER do it. NEVER. But that's ok... it ended bad nowever