I'm scared

[Yahen]

Today someone showed me something that scared me it was so biiig

But that's not what this post is about lol sorry

I'm afraid of dying.

Really afraid.

I have no idea how to deal with this.

That's it sorry

[Corso]

I don't know how to help but I'll pray for your safety. I hope everything will be fine.

[Destrakon]

You can't deal with it. There are only two things for sure in life, Taxes and Death. That's why we must live to the fullest and with no regrets. Sounds cruel.

 

I'll hope you overcome whatever problem you have.

Edited March 2, 2019 by Destrakon

[....]

If Death Anxiety is your problem,i am sure you can overcome it !
Think about all the good things in life (not in a sentimental way),go out there,look at the green,observe people,do some exercises,read new books,watch new shows,hang out with your best friend etc.

I am sure after a while you'll realize that the world is quite interesting and being afraid of death will only waste your time.

If this fear is about perishing and disappearing forever,don't,because i am sure you've realized how strong your mind were in all these years,

It is the one which creates your fears,your memories and your solutions,infact the mind is so strong i am almost positive it will remain forever.
If not then it's fine,you will not perish,you'll add it to the nitrogen cycle,or maybe you'll become a star in the sky,like Anna said .And you could shine forever.
Live first and when the time comes you won't be afraid.

 

Dumbledore once said ; ''Do not pity the dead Harry,pity the living and above all those who live without love''

 

Live with love and prosper.This is the cheat of life.

 

If any of my gibberish didn't make sense or didn't make you feel better,i recommend a book: Staring at the Sun: Overcoming The Terror of Death.

 

With love and happiness.

 

Cheers~

 

 

[J-Awesome_One]

I know how you feel. Sometimes, I'm busy doing something, say like the dishes, and then all of a sudden, BOOM! I think about me being dead and not being able to live anymore. And it scares the shit out of me. This is what I do to calm me down though. There are other people you know, there at least has to be 1, that is ok with dying. And just in case anyone gets confused, I don't mean suicidal. I mean they accept that they're gonna die someday and they just go on with their life until that time. And to me, that calms me. If someone is all good with the idea of them dying someday and they just go on, it might help you at least for that moment of time feel ok. This happens to me at least 1 to 3 times a month and it sucks. But maybe this will hope. And I really hope this didn't sound weird or anything. Haha.

[Candy]

I know how you feel because I think of death constantly during the day. I'm a scientist, and I studied science because I found it interesting, but I kinda ruined it for myself because I became an atheist due to science, and on top of that it made me feel the inevitability of death more than ever before. I won't talk of it in detail because if you have a religion, I think it's best to keep it like that.

 

What I, as a scientist, have found most effective in relieving my death anxiety is to think that our brains are literally configured to fear death. It makes sense because if we didn't fear death, humanity would go extinct as people did reckless actions or committed suicide for any reason. But death is a natural process, and it's actually neither good nor bad in itself.

Another thing that I find helpful is to keep death in the back of my mind as I sense my surroundings and enjoy the gift of life. It's insane honestly how sometimes as coordinated, complex and self-aware as human beings could come into existence in this universe composed of mostly dust and giant rocks. Even if it's for a brief moment in the universe's entire history, the odds were in our favor and we came to be. So enjoy time with your loved ones, find pleasure in the process of living day by day, because even what you think are the worst days of your life can be what makes life fun to live.

Other than that, I think therapy is an option but I don't know how helpful another person would be to take away anxiety about something inevitable. I was going to go for therapy but my university doesn't provide the service unless I've been treated for some other malady so my files are already in their system. Guess I'll have to wait until I get sick to get therapy I guess

And lastly, I don't know how realistic this would be, but I want to extend human life and possibly stop death by studying science. Neuroscience, to be precise. That's because I believe if we could find a way to maintain the brain alive and find an alternative body for it when the current one dies, we could theoretically live forever. If you don't want to die, looking for ways to defeat death might be something attractive to you idk

[Yahen]

12 hours ago, Corso said:

I don't know how to help but I'll pray for your safety. I hope everything will be fine.

Thanks Corso, hope we'll be nUMBARS buddies for a long time

 

12 hours ago, Destrakon said:

You can't deal with it. There are only two things for sure in life, Taxes and Death. That's why we must live to the fullest and with no regrets. Sounds cruel.

 

I'll hope you overcome whatever problem you have.

I can undertand that i guess. i fear taxes too 

Thanks

 

9 hours ago, Thundermaze said:

If Death Anxiety is your problem,i am sure you can overcome it !
Think about all the good things in life (not in a sentimental way),go out there,look at the green,observe people,do some exercises,read new books,watch new shows,hang out with your best friend etc.

I am sure after a while you'll realize that the world is quite interesting and being afraid of death will only waste your time.

If this fear is about perishing and disappearing forever,don't,because i am sure you've realized how strong your mind were in all these years,

It is the one which creates your fears,your memories and your solutions,infact the mind is so strong i am almost positive it will remain forever.
If not then it's fine,you will not perish,you'll add it to the nitrogen cycle,or maybe you'll become a star in the sky,like Anna said .And you could shine forever.
Live first and when the time comes you won't be afraid.

 

Dumbledore once said ; ''Do not pity the dead Harry,pity the living and above all those who live without love''

 

Live with love and prosper.This is the cheat of life.

 

If any of my gibberish didn't make sense or didn't make you feel better,i recommend a book: Staring at the Sun: Overcoming The Terror of Death.

 

With love and happiness.

 

Cheers~

 

 

Reading this made me feel better, thanks

Ill read this book and talk about it with ya maybe i will forget to talk to ya cause my memory sucks

 

 

9 hours ago, J-Awesome_One said:

I know how you feel. Sometimes, I'm busy doing something, say like the dishes, and then all of a sudden, BOOM! I think about me being dead and not being able to live anymore. And it scares the shit out of me. This is what I do to calm me down though. There are other people you know, there at least has to be 1, that is ok with dying. And just in case anyone gets confused, I don't mean suicidal. I mean they accept that they're gonna die someday and they just go on with their life until that time. And to me, that calms me. If someone is all good with the idea of them dying someday and they just go on, it might help you at least for that moment of time feel ok. This happens to me at least 1 to 3 times a month and it sucks. But maybe this will hope. And I really hope this didn't sound weird or anything. Haha.

you didn't sound weird at all

It makes sense i guess, ill try it next time it happens to me, and if i remember, ill feedback, thanks

 

8 hours ago, Candy said:

I know how you feel because I think of death constantly during the day. I'm a scientist, and I studied science because I found it interesting, but I kinda ruined it for myself because I became an atheist due to science, and on top of that it made me feel the inevitability of death more than ever before. I won't talk of it in detail because if you have a religion, I think it's best to keep it like that.

 

What I, as a scientist, have found most effective in relieving my death anxiety is to think that our brains are literally configured to fear death. It makes sense because if we didn't fear death, humanity would go extinct as people did reckless actions or committed suicide for any reason. But death is a natural process, and it's actually neither good nor bad in itself.

Another thing that I find helpful is to keep death in the back of my mind as I sense my surroundings and enjoy the gift of life. It's insane honestly how sometimes as coordinated, complex and self-aware as human beings could come into existence in this universe composed of mostly dust and giant rocks. Even if it's for a brief moment in the universe's entire history, the odds were in our favor and we came to be. So enjoy time with your loved ones, find pleasure in the process of living day by day, because even what you think are the worst days of your life can be what makes life fun to live.

Other than that, I think therapy is an option but I don't know how helpful another person would be to take away anxiety about something inevitable. I was going to go for therapy but my university doesn't provide the service unless I've been treated for some other malady so my files are already in their system. Guess I'll have to wait until I get sick to get therapy I guess

And lastly, I don't know how realistic this would be, but I want to extend human life and possibly stop death by studying science. Neuroscience, to be precise. That's because I believe if we could find a way to maintain the brain alive and find an alternative body for it when the current one dies, we could theoretically live forever. If you don't want to die, looking for ways to defeat death might be something attractive to you idk

Candy (imagine a candy emote here) 

Thats a good idea i guess, thinking that my fear of it is configured instead of thinking about it can work wonders.

Im an atheist too, that might be a aggravating.

Therapy is sort of hard to find here too, ive done it before but its hard to say if it helped or not.

Ive heard of extending human life, yet nothing about stopping death, thats interesting. Im used to computers, thats why im coursing its Science, but when i graduate, maybe ill try Neuro (is it the doctor's thingy? I dont remember at all).

Thanks

 

 

For all of you, my pawsitivity of the day

 

[Guest Relinquished]

I was afraid of dying, too. It is one of our "primal fears". Fear, usually, stems out of our inability to perceive the unknown; death is a situation we do not know, we do not understand and nobody returned from it, to help us "chart" it. Fear of the unknown is usually chaotic, but potent and many times, carries the ability to compel us towards unpredictable behaviors.

 

Some people use fears in order to convince others do what they want, sometimes. Some systems, like religions, play on the fears of humans in order to "control" them, regulate "stuff", or even reverse said fears, in order to turn the tables and transmute them into hope... Or something! Then, they proceed to playing on that very same hope, for a more elaborate manipulation, of sorts.

 

It's "funny", but lately, even "psychologists", or "psychologist-wannabes", started using such petty evils (toying with your fears and/or hopes), instead of helping you conquer them... Such as a certain person i recently had a "spar" with... But that is irrelevant and out of topic. If you want to surpass something, you have to undertake the greatest challenge possible. Not merely face your own fear, but even better, fend off against somebody wielding such a fear against you and toying with you -and your sanity-, even! Somehow, though, i really doubt that other people can meet such hypocritical cretins, the kind of which i regularly encounter, out there.

 

So, let's start with the basics. "Conquering Fear of Death". Failing to follow a religion, creed or dogma, one of the kind that "dethrones" death and plants inside followers unrealistic hopes (for afterlife)... There are generic spirituality choices too, perfectly followable by non-believers... Paths of Asian culture, for instance. Reincarnation (buddhism/sintoism), Soul Transmigration (trongjug yoga) and even cults/religion-offshoots, like those that glorify life, especially the life-giving elements (Tantra, specifically the white or even better red path, Tachikawa Ryu which i personally believe it to be the ULTIMATE death-fear conquering system, Kaula yoga, etc). Or you can simply read some occult literature on "death", in order to approach the matter from the point of pseudo-philosophy, but that would be a very sensitive topic, so i won't expand. If religion isn't your thing altogether, we move on to other alternatives...

 

Delve deep inside Life! Feel it completely, enjoy it through and through, live each and every day to its fullest extent, as if it is to be your very last one! Meet life, know life, research life throroughly! Find pleasure even in the smallest thing, try to discover out of one thing, ten thousand things! Appreciate its aspects and other creatures that live, try to care for them, even (animals, plants, etc)! Satisfaction, a.k.a. the 6th of the "lower paths", called "Rapture" in buddhism, elevates a person to the higher existential circles. There is nothing wrong with being content and seeking pleasure, life is and should be about enjoying pleasant things, after all! Conquering the opposite of Death, yields you passive understanding of it (of the unknown) and slowly disintegrates your negativity. Appreciating life, slowly leads somebody into appreciating death too, because this is the natural circle, the balance of things. One brings the other, one doesn't exist without the other, there is beauty and wisdom in both; ultimately we do and we should, embrace and follow both.

 

Then, there is philosophy. The so called, "mother of all sciences". A great tool, an invaluable asset, to conquering fears and advancing through life, in various forms. There are many different "schools" and a plethora of "masters", to look at. Both western and eastern, all of them being useful in aiding somebody, either towards their own self, or facing off against the whole world on the other side, even. I particularly like cynics and hedonists's approach to life; or modern ones with a special touch, such as Nietzsche.

 

If you find nothing of this interesting, comprehensible, or even slightly alluring, then we go to the plain old; "If you cannot beat your (natural) enemy, then become friends with them". Sarcasm of death, looking down upon it, turning it into something funny with unecdotal jokes around it, usually works. That and the realization, we have no control over it... So, it is totally pointless to worry, ponder over it, trying to understand it, in the first place. We won't, we cannot and that is the end of the story! The only thing we should fear, is fear itself, at the end of the day (translation: be afraid to fear something, ergo don't fear anything). Hope to have helped!

[Corso]

I see some people are still in Middle Ages.

Anyone who thinks religion is about controlling people with their fear should do some research.

[Guest Relinquished]

"Control" is something very delicate. Can be very indirect and barely noticable, if at all ("Do the 10 things i say and after dying, you enjoy an eternity of bliss"; sounds familiar?). I am sorry if something i said was misinterpreted. Still, though, i am happy that "i am still in Middle Ages, for believing that religion controls people with their fears", rather than "i am in Middle Ages, because one of the possible anchors i suggested, is religion". I consider religion a "tool" that can be used right; but many times, it isn't used "well", or as it "should". And i am very certain that i didn't blacklist it, on the contrary...

 

I offered many choices and i deliberately left out "psychology". First of all, some psychologists today are unprofessional, if not downright dangerous/incompatible with that task (supporting people) and philosophy by itself, usually cuts it. And finally, the latter also gave birth to psychology, as well as most of the sciences we know of, today...

[Corso]

Let's consider these statements:

3 hours ago, GS BALL said:

I consider religion a "tool" that can be used right; but many times, it isn't used "well", or as it "should".

 

4 hours ago, GS BALL said:

philosophy. The so called, "mother of all sciences". A great tool, an invaluable asset, to conquering fears and advancing through life, in various forms. There are many different "schools" and a plethora of "masters", to look at. Both western and eastern, all of them being useful

In my opinion, your bias here is evident, and you're ignoring the large amount of people who do good in the name of their God, "both western and eastern". It's clear that you've had luck with philosophy and it has helped you a lot in your life, as it's clear that I've been helped by religion and religious people. However, if you want us to consider religion "a tool", then you must admit that tools aren't inherently good or bad, but that it depends on the user; the same goes for philosophy and psychology. 

 

"Do the 10 things you say and after dying, you enjoy an eternity of bliss": this again shows how your view of religion is… incomplete. Seeing religion as a contract, a "do ut des" is one of the most common misconceptions, and it's as wrong as saying "if I do everything that girl says then she'll give me pleasure". The Ten Commandments are more like suggestions (keep in mind I'm not a theologist), and no divine police will arrest you if you break them. Here God is basically saying "if you love Me and you Trust me, then I'm telling you what to do/avoid to live in peace with others". It's not very different from a parent telling a baby not to play with sharp objects: the baby loves and trusts their parents and does not play with knives. I don't see any love in your concept of religion.

 

Now, to return to the actual topic which was helping Yahen: Yahen, the point is that you can try several "tools", just don't judge them just because you've met someone who doesn't know how to use them properly. If you see a priest and you don't like him, go see another one. Same goes for psychologists and philosophy.

 

And, as always, I'll pray for you (for both of you, even though philosophy is related to astronomy, mathematics, geometry and psychology but not much else; I don't think Freud considered himself a philosopher so I wouldn't count it, but I could be wrong)

[Yahen]

11 minutes ago, Corso said:

And, as always, I'll pray for you

I really appreciate your prayers (guess thats the word?), it really makes me feel that someone is wishing me good things, thanks.

[Chickens]

When death comes, it comes.

And when it comes, well, what can you do.

There is no need to fear dying, it is something we will all face.

But a little fear isn't exactly uncalled for as it makes people do things.

 

I hope that you will persevere and may you be well.

[Guest Relinquished]

1 hour ago, Quillish said:

But a little fear isn't exactly uncalled for as it makes people do things.

 

I hope that you will persevere and may you be well.

Great addition! Fear sometimes, in the right dosage of course, can "inspire" somebody, urge them do something they normally wouldn't, or do better in something they 're about to mess up. Negative traits like fear and anxiety, when "channeled" and "handled" properly, can have constructive, beneficial "use"/"application". And obviously, the end target should always be to endure through; tenacity, "immovability", remain standing where others would "fail" or "fall". But handling dangerous things, needs extra precision and care.

[Vinnie]

I've met quite a few people who really fear death. Sure, I imagine most of us fear it, however these people tend to really hone in on that fear and it almost consumes them. 

 

You really just have to work through it. Try and keep your mind busy, don't think about it and go about your wonderful day. No good can come of thinking about it too much.

 

Focus on the good things in life and you'll be alright!

Edited March 14, 2019 by Vinnie