Abyssreaper99 Posted April 8, 2019 Share Posted April 8, 2019 I'm going to put a disclaimer here by saying I will be referencing a certain incident when talking here so if you don't to see then stop reading now. However, I will be somewhat vague in referencing to it and will have the rest of this post in a spoiler tag. Without further ado, let's begin the rant/essay... Spoiler The stuff that was revealed a few weekends ago, it was like a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from. Wishing that everything that was revealed was false. At first, I didn't believe or didn't want to believe some of what was being said but as more and more people spoke up and showed what had gone on, I was crushed. I was crushed that 2 people (the first person revealed I didn't even look up to so not bringing him up) that I had watched for years, that had provided me content to help me through my GCSEs, my Alevels and my start of my uni life were capable of doing such terrible things. Especially considering one of them, I hung out in their streams in a semi-frequent basis in a place where I would get emotional support from her and from other people when I was there. A place where I felt I could truly be safe, be myself. My heart truly ached when I found out what had been going on all these years, not just because my mind was putting together what they had done but also aching for those who had been their friends and also knew nothing about what they had done as well as those victims who took the brunt of the manipulative behaviour. Seeing what had gone on and the extent to which this hurt, I had to take a day and a bit break from Twitter (something I have never had to do) to ensure my mental health hadn't plummeted to dangerous levels. During that time, I felt hurt and betrayed and sad. I was and still am too sad to feel anger towards this situation. I now just feel concern towards the victims and to Nickie, Grimmy, Jay, Twit, Deigo, Ralphie and more... It wasn't just this situation that made me hurt, it was other people were deliberately trying to drag each other down and use these set of disgusting events that occurred to drag as many people down as possible (the whole Twit/Kristen thing is the first thing that pops up). The fact that instead of apologizing, he went on a whole other tangent and deflected onto someone else instead of taking the majority of the time to address the more serious accusations laid against him. It isn't the actions of an innocent man. He even had the audacity to give a meh sorta apology and that was only because the evidence was too damning to be shaken off. There was only one point during this whole thing that I felt any positivity in myself: when Nick stated he wanted to rebuild the poketuber community and extended the olive branch to many people. He was a guy who despite hurting wanted to rebuild everything that was destroyed by them instead of slumbering in the toxic wastes or even adding to it. In my eyes Nick is the Adrienn of the poketuber community, focussing on what needs to be done. I was disgusted by some people who had a go at Nickie for cutting her ties from him but not telling him to rot. Despite all the bad things they have done, people can still cut ties but still cut ties in a neutral sorta way instead of just telling them to rot or kill themselves. I was disgusted by the way some people twisted certain things that were out there and accused people of things that they haven't even done (twisting the content Jamie's tumblr page to make it look like she does stuff to her daughter, the only things that are on there are her kinks (strange but they're her kinks)). So how has what I felt changed since then? I had to speak to my mentor (emotional side) at my university because it affected me that much. I remember telling her a short version of what had happened and I was still crying a little during telling the summary. My dad was wondering how this could even affect me, I told him that these were people I looked up to and interacted with before finding out some of the truth. I'm not going to lie, I'm still hurting but I'm going to be fine. I've had things happen that has improved my mental health since then like going on a night out with friends and finding out I've done well on some tests I've done. I've unfollowed them on their social media and yt/twitch accounts but I'm only still on her server for 2 reasons: She's not on there anymore, the friends that I've made there are still hanging around. I'm not hanging around there for her, I'm hanging around there for some dear friends that are staying for a similar reason as me. We've all given each other support over this past week too. To end off with, if you're still hurting regarding this event or even just going through a lot in general please talk to people you feel you can talk to. Don't hold everything in because if you do, it will only hurt more. You all will have someone around (online or irl) that will support you. Thank you for reading this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfox Posted April 8, 2019 Share Posted April 8, 2019 Oof... If you gotta vent some more feel free to use my PM box for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abyssreaper99 Posted April 8, 2019 Author Share Posted April 8, 2019 18 minutes ago, Wolfox said: Oof... If you gotta vent some more feel free to use my PM box for it Thanks Wolfy, same here my dude. And to anyone else who needs to vent about it, my PM box is open to y'all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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