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The Odd One Out -- A Reborn Story


Aphelli

Should I keep uploading pictures for the chapters?  

13 members have voted

  1. 1. Should I keep uploading pictures for the chapters?

    • Yes, you can even add more!
      11
    • Try and make less of them.
      2
    • It's better without pictures altogether.
      0
  2. 2. Should I keep uploading pictures for main battles?

    • Yes, keep them about the in-game battles.
      7
    • Try and post some about how the battles are narrated.
      5
    • No, the story is self-sufficient.
      1

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So Kiki's still alive and Solaris is personally hunting Gabriel now, interesting. I'm excited to see how this progresses. I also loved the trick with Murkrow, I was wondering why Gabriel only used five mons.

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  On 12/20/2020 at 3:16 PM, Dex said:

And the plot has been derailed and I love it. This is the kind of stuff I live for in these screenshot/written Pokemon stories. I was half expecting this story to just go the way of canon, but the trick with Crowphet was brilliant. So was the battle with Solaris, it was tense as all hell and was made retroactively all the more so by the fact that the whole endeavor was a hair away from complete disaster.

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Thank you for your comment and for reading! I'm very glad you liked it. 

 

Apophyll is a decent way to add some stakes and emotion to what is mostly a glorified detour, but in my opinion it's still strange. The heroes know at this point that there are forces in Team Meteor that they cannot hope to defeat, and they still charge in. It's admirable in bravery but does not actually reach the goal. Hence Gabriel's trick. 

 

To be honest, I'm not very comfortable derailing canon too much at this point, because it's always a hair away from disaster, and keeping all the pieces in place after the butterfly effect strikes may be harder than I can handle. Altering motivations for events, or what precisely happens (a bit like what I did at the Orphanage, or perhaps the Corey fight or Blacksteam) is fine. Anyway, Gabriel has enough tricks up his sleeve that canon will be left behind... at some point. So unfortunately, for now, it'll be the same trends as canon plotlines.  

 

 

  On 12/20/2020 at 5:25 PM, TheHellHamster said:

So Kiki's still alive and Solaris is personally hunting Gabriel now, interesting. I'm excited to see how this progresses. I also loved the trick with Murkrow, I was wondering why Gabriel only used five mons.

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Thank you for your comment and for reading! 

I guess you have your answer now (for the five mons). As for how this progresses, I'll upload the answer within a few days (that finale is hard to get right). 

 

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So I commented again, since in my last comment, I went a little off the track...😅

 

So first I'm glad, that Kiki is alive (for now on) and I feel Gabriel's sanity slowly fading away since that battle. Also he embodied very feeling, the newcomers had to pull off strategists against that Garchomp😖

 

But sadly- at some twists- Arceus is going to take Kiki's life to sacrifice herself for Gabriel maybe... And Vicky probably hating him for that... Ouch...

 

But it's just a guess, maybe or I'm really a Psychic after all😅😂

 

So Merry Christmas and an apology for overreacting at the children's current situation... I'm just worried for their safety that's all...

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  On 12/24/2020 at 8:16 PM, Evi Crystal said:

He embodied very feeling, the newcomers had to pull off strategists against that Garchomp😖

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Yes. Honestly I can't see the point, worldbuilding-wise, of cheese strats. Why on earth wouldn't everyone use them against enemies outside their level, especially when a Pokemon battle can have a lot of stakes? So I needed some serious drawbacks, which I tried to make. Namely, they take a lot of time to take effect, they're not as effective as they should against stronger Pokemon, and so on...

 

  

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An apology for overreacting at the children's current situation... I'm just worried for their safety that's all...

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It's okay, and they'll live (at least, I currently have no plan or reason to kill them off if the game doesn't).

 

 

Merry Christmas (or happy holidays) to all of you who read this post!

This is the last chapter of the fic  of Part 2. There'll be a significant hiatus afterwards (don't count on the next chapter being in less than a month), I need to flesh out my ideas for Parts 3 and 4.

Also I have late homework and I really need to settle on a thesis topic but it's not as relevant

 

Enjoy...

 

 

A little note about the pictures: the layout of the first floor (or second for American readers, I meant the lowest floor which wasn't more or less ground level) that I'm viewing for the Academy isn't the one on the pictures. I'm thinking something more motel-like (sorry for the comparison), a covered corridor with rooms, and a railing. 

 

 

Chapter 45: Dereliction

 

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  • 2 months later...

I'm back!

 

And thank you for your patience (I've seen the view counter grow, we're past 9,500 views now, and we're getting near a very impressive round number...). I hope you've been doing well -- or as well as you could in these, er, eventful times. 

 

For a certain definition of back, anyway. I've been busy over the past months and I haven't written much. I'm still unclear about what happens at some points (say, the Aya battle, to convey how little I advanced, but it's not the only one). But now that my situation is stabler (speaking in relative terms at least) than in the past three months, I think it's time to start posting again. And if chapters don't come on schedule because my buffer isn't as filled as before... then I'll be late. 

 

To be honest, I was a bit uncertain about how to go back to the story. I'll be honest and say that we're going back to a slower pace for the three following chapters at least. Some events have consequences and I think it's important to procrastinate writing when I don't know what to write explore how a few characters are doing after the events at Apophyll. To be even more honest, I don't know how good a decision that was (or how good the subsequent writing is). You'll judge, I guess. (Did I mention that I welcome comments and feedback?)

 

Here comes...

 

 

Part 3: Mind Games

 

 

“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.”

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 

 

Chapter 46: The End of the Day

 

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Hi again! 

 

I hope you're doing well. 

 

So far, I'm managing the rhythm of one chapter per week. Hopefully it'll last, but I'm not quite sure -- we're supposedly now under lockdown again, but I'm not actually sure that gives me more time (and it probably doesn't do wonders to my shaking overall motivation). At least I've now got something about the Aya battle (and I do not look forward to playing it). Relatedly, that should be when pictures re-start. I don't feel like there is much point right now. 

 

Concerning the chapter I'm posting: you're getting a "light" version of it (roughly two thirds). There's something that I've decided not to directly show, because I felt uncomfortable about it -- I still am not sure if it was plain bad, too little, or over the top, while it was intended to be dead earnest. You'll see the consequences, but not the "act" itself. 

 

There are other parts that could have been removed for similar reasons, but I didn't feel it would be as terrible if I got them wrong,so I left them. 

 

Don't hesitate to comment on what you found was good, or bad.  

 

Anyway. 

 

 

Chapter 47: Reckonings

 

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Hello again. Good to read your story again, as I'm currently dealing with some unpleasant issues and working to finish the first arc, before going off to a big break of 2-3 months. I swear, how you writers can take this on so much further despite all the struggle?

 

  On 3/21/2021 at 5:28 PM, Mindlack said:

Sigmund Connal -- apologies, Dr. Sigmund Connal -- was furious.

 

He had, of course, not been there when the fugitive children had been apprehended. The news had been a very special relief to him. It was over and everything would turn back to normal. He had told he expected the Meteors to deliver the children back the day after.

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Hmmm... I wonder why is he furious now? I though calling the so "helpful" Team Meteor would solve his issue, right? NOPE, it won't! Just had to put them into deep hell now😞😤

 

  On 3/21/2021 at 5:28 PM, Mindlack said:

If anything, he knew, since they had decided to make him redundant, he had better make himself useful where they couldn't. There was little doubt that the excitement, the fantasy of their flight, and its eventual conclusion had harmed the children he was still, ethically speaking, in charge of. This was why he had phoned Team Meteor to go with them. But by the time he met them -- under cover of the night -- it was already too late. Of course these people would try to gain their fear instead of their respect, or trust.

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It was at this moment, our Doctor knew... he screwed up soo badly, that the Magic Square Puzzle. Good job right there, just lost 3/4 of my respect now with him😡👏🏽

 

I can't believe, that I once had defended and excused him back then... Now I can see, that I misrepresented reality and was delusional. Sigh nevermind the small outburst here😓

 

  On 3/21/2021 at 5:28 PM, Mindlack said:

 

Not to mention that the tunnels had somehow collapsed, which made it much more difficult to stealthily transfer the children.

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Good to see he's getting that, but like I say before, this won't happen, unless he has a Pokemon with Strengh. And btw, the city isn't in a much stable place and given some messed up parts🤔

 

  On 3/21/2021 at 5:28 PM, Mindlack said:

But it will live on.

 

It will honor our Sensei's commitment, sacrifice and memory.

 

Thank you, Kiki. And farewell.

 

And I'm sorry... so sorry..."

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Poor Vicky... I just want to hug her right now. She didn't deserve that horror show with like that😔

 

  On 3/21/2021 at 5:28 PM, Mindlack said:

Did they know, the bureaucrats and the polished, sheltered rich, what the laws they had worked and paid for were forcing him to do? They had made him responsible for every lost children in a city who was slowly dying, despite the desperate and dysfunctional life support their incompetence was trying to provide! Did they know the kind of children that left him with? Some of them were horror shows, their minds broken at eight, stuck into the heart-wrenching habits of someone who lived in the street, a prey to everyone else. Some were mechanical -- how much work would be needed to insuffle them some life back?

 

And some were reacting with broken, psychotic violence. How to defend his staff against attacks so brutal that even mobsters would recoil from them? He had been forced to make a degree of discipline and self-restraint stick with electric shocks, always low-intensity and brief.

 

He had heard -- they had had the cruelty to tell him, even though they had just made him powerless to unearth its falsehood -- the child's accusation against him. It may have been anyone, but he didn't doubt that it was one of the children who had subsequently escaped. How could they?

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This broke my heart so much and yet I'm pretty confused and don't know, who should I believe here. I'm trying to understand such concept... Damm, Sigmund would just snap at everyone, but it won't help that, right?

 

Sorry for acting a bit over the edge, but the last 3 parts made me really emotional and I'm kinda dealing with other things around. Let's just hope, that everyone is safe despite the healing😔🙏🏼

 

I should try to control my attraction towards fictional characters, because it drives me so mad and my heart is crying, despite it is just fiction🥲💔

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  On 3/21/2021 at 6:34 PM, Evi Crystal said:

Hello again. Good to read your story again, as I'm currently dealing with some unpleasant issues and working to finish the first arc, before going off to a big break of 2-3 months. I swear, how you writers can take this on so much further despite all the struggle?

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First, thank you for your comment! 
Second, well, I don't know really much. I think the simplest answer is "one chapter at a time".

It certainly helps that Reborn's story is a guideline. And also, there are events I want to show, goals I want to reach (the few last chapters of Part Two, for instance). And breaks, of course. I'll be honest: this is the very first fanfiction I'm leading this far, and I wasn't even sure I was motivated enough to carry on for Part Three.

 

I try to set myself a fixed schedule, and I start with a little buffer, which usually lets me write a bit slower than the schedule. Of course, I have higher-productivity/higher-motivation times too, so it evens out and there are weeks where I can ignore my lack of drive to write. 

 

 

 

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Hmmm... I wonder why is he furious now? I though calling the so "helpful" Team Meteor would solve his issue, right? NOPE, it won't! Just had to put them into deep hell now😞😤

 

 

It was at this moment, our Doctor knew... he screwed up soo badly, that the Magic Square Puzzle. Good job right there, just lost 3/4 of my respect now with him😡👏🏽

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Not sure I follow everything here. What's the Magic Square to do with anything? (Apart maybe as a self-esteem therapy for Shelly? it's a shame I have other plans.)

 

Anger is a natural reaction. He would know better than suppress it. He's a learned Doctor, after all; the others are foolish well-meaning incompetents at best, corrupt hindrances, if not monsters, otherwise. Part of his anger is directed at himself -- but most of it is directed to all those who don't know, who act in a manner contrary to what he believes is the kids' best interest. 

 

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I can't believe, that I once had defended and excused him back then... Now I can see, that I misrepresented reality and was delusional. Sigh nevermind the small outburst here😓

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No problem, that's what comments are for, after all. 

 

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Good to see he's getting that, but like I say before, this won't happen, unless he has a Pokemon with Strengh. And btw, the city isn't in a much stable place and given some messed up parts🤔

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Yeah... That's why "Strength" is just an idea Victoria and Amaria came up with simultaneously and not an official program. And it's not in Meteor's best interests to rebuild the tunnel, they're not philanthropists!

And of course 

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Poor Vicky... I just want to hug her right now. She didn't deserve that horror show with like that😔

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No. She didn't deserve that. 

 

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This broke my heart so much and yet I'm pretty confused and don't know, who should I believe here. I'm trying to understand such concept... Damm, Sigmund would just snap at everyone, but it won't help that, right?

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No, indeed. He snaps at everyone because he (feels that he) knows best and they don't. And because he's furious at having let himself into this horrible situation where he's actually powerless. 

 

As usual, Connal is unreliable, but not too much of a liar. Some of his griefs are legitimate. He sincerely believes that some of the kids are so badly screwed up by living on the street (and we're not speaking a "friendly" street) that some electric shocks, professionally applied (as he tries to), may help in their treatment. And after all, he's the legal guardian, so (he thinks) consent is his to give. It really is a legitimate therapy method, if ancient. 

 

(we'll come back to this later in the fic -- after all, the MC meets them twice over the runaway children, both soon)

 

I don't know enough psychiatry to know if his assessment is correct, but many kids in the Orphanage are badly screwed up, and his interpretation of (say) Anna's behavior isn't unrealistic. Some epic anger issues for Charlotte or Saphira certainly wouldn't be out of character either, and they wouldn't see it themselves as an issue. 

 

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Sorry for acting a bit over the edge, but the last 3 parts made me really emotional and I'm kinda dealing with other things around. Let's just hope, that everyone is safe despite the healing😔🙏🏼

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No problem, again. :)

 

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I should try to control my attraction towards fictional characters, because it drives me so mad and my heart is crying, despite it is just fiction🥲💔

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Funnily enough, I react better to fiction than reality too. I can get worked up (and I did) over characters in Reborn, Rejuv, Deso, Insurgence, a few other video games I watched (Adventures – Red Chapter, anyone?), and many, many other written stories. But most of reality (even the most objectively revolting parts) barely registers as much, emotionally speaking, and I’m not sure why. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Good evening! 

 

We got 10,000 views! Can we take, just a moment, to appreciate how much that is? Thank you to all those of you who read part of the story, or glanced at it. And especially to all of you who read as much as you could and commented. 😀

 

In a less congratulatory (or self-congratulatory) fashion, yes, we're barely two chapters in and already I can't keep up with this rather mild schedule. I truly do not know if it is to be expected several times more. Mostly I'm lacking a little inspiration on these chapters -- I should probably take a good, long sheet of paper and really plan (or just manage it in my head, as it had worked for the two previous parts), and I'm a bit worried about not getting the characters right.  

 

But mostly it's that writing feels harder these days. Maybe I need a longer, or different sort of break, but I'm worried that it might become a permanent one and I don't want that. I'm not saying I want to be ready for E19 (way too many things need to be written first!) but I'd also like to finish less than something like two years afterwards. 

 

 For the record, if that makes sense to anyone reading this apart from me -- group cohomology is ugh. Even though the number-theoretic applications are nothing short of spectacular. 

 

But enough about me, let's talk about...

Erm, well...

 

You know what? Let's just go. 

 

 

 

Chapter 48: Wastelands

 

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hi

i relate to the needing to plan things so much. so, so much. i have an outline and i still need to plan.

 

anyway, i said i'd pull quotes and i'm here to do so:

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also! aya's characterization here is extremely good! how relaxed she is in the wasteland, how she talks about her relationship with cain; how she talks about her job--all of her parts are really well done!!

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Hi Fawn!

 

  On 3/31/2021 at 3:48 AM, familiarfawn said:

i relate to the needing to plan things so much. so, so much. i have an outline and i still need to plan.

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I've tried it and while I got some valuable insights out of it, I'm not sure how worthwhile it is. I misjudge the appropriate level of detail, I get tangled in the possible plots... I'm having a lot of trouble sorting the information too, between what's described in the chapters, the rest of the timeline, character motivations which aren't stated, and so on.  

 

  17 hours ago, familiarfawn said:

anyway, i said i'd pull quotes and i'm here to do so:

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also! aya's characterization here is extremely good! how relaxed she is in the wasteland, how she talks about her relationship with cain; how she talks about her job--all of her parts are really well done!!

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I wrote it on discord, but I'll thank you again for your comment. I really didn't expect a response this positive (and it literally made my day), I was actually unsure about this chapter. The trouble is, of course, that this sets a very high bar for the next chapter (especially since we have another sequence of character interactions which always feel pretty difficult) and now I'll have to angst over the possibility that I don't meet it... 🤣

 

Some comments on the quotes you highlighted:

 

Fun fact: I don't think I made much reference to sound in my previous descriptions of places in Reborn City (they were a while ago, so perhaps I don't really remember them). I think it was your story (Coral, maybe? but I've just checked and I didn't see any mention of it) which made me realize (or remember? that feels so natural at the moment that it's hard to say) the significance of silence. 

 

The "three halves" is from experience -- that's sort of how I'm trying to sound when I make a self-deprecating remark (when I sort of mean it but not quite). Though this is probably (even fictional people are hard and I'm not sure I'm up to setting a definite interpretation to what they say most of the time) Gabriel misinterpreting, I think it's serious enough for Aya that she isn't joking about this. 

 

"Victory wasn't mine to decide. It never had been."

Actually, what Gabriel had in mind was pretty clear to me when I wrote it, but your comment made me wonder whether it ended up conveying a different meaning. And of course I'm too scared of a positive answer to try and clarify. 🤣 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi! 

 

It's been a while. I said it, I meant it, here's the next chapter.

 

A few things I would mention beforehand: again, the pictures aren't as good as I'd like them to be, and in particular suffer from some inconsistencies. I don't like that, but I'm not really sure how to do it better. And I’m positively hyped for those I’ll have to make in Yureyu. Not to mention the actual re-adapting of the draft as the picture gets clearer. 
(sigh) 

 

Second, you get the written (and pictured) account of the Aya battle this chapter. However, I'll only detail how it went in-game next time (it's different from what I wrote, because I played the battle only last night, while this chapter was "ready" at least a week ago).  

 

Third, we're in a part called "mind games", so I may be hiding some “secrets” for you to discover or deduce.

Some relevant information may be hidden for you to realize, or at least not explicitly written out until a while. The “while” could be just a couple of chapters – or perhaps not. 

 

 

(also, some spoilery information may be hinted at much earlier and more explicitly than the in-game events). 

 

 

 

Chapter 49: School Reunion

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello! 

 

I hope you've been doing well. These Yureyu chapters are actually difficult to tune, not to mention the pictures. But hopefully you'll enjoy the result. 

 

(Also, I'm a bit surprised that the previous chapter elicited no reaction whatsoever. I don't think this has happened in a while? I assume you were otherwise busy or that the chapter was subpar -- although I'd very much like to know if it's the latter). 

 

And this is the 50th chapter! This could be a number to celebrate, but I'm a math guy and 50 lacks a lot of mathematical class... In my opinion 48, 54, 57 or 64 are far better to cheer on. 

 

Anyway, let's not ramble further (especially not with numerology) and let's dive into the Yureyu events!

 

Warning: this chapter is somewhat more violent than the previous ones. A usually appreciated character is going to be physically abused. 

 

 

Chapter 50: Worldly Strength

 

 

 

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Oh boi, I cannot wait for them to kick some Meteor butt. My heart is pounding with every word, I have read in this chapter today.

 

Also... I'm now so T R I G G E R E D for what Ricardo did with Shelly. That's much worse than being held in knifepoint😨😢

 

Now I kinda afraid to imagine about the others. I guess the Yureyu arc will be this explicitly, if you ask me. However I like how Team Meteor is portrayed as the villainous group with no mercy. Reminds me of Team Rocket here

 

Also have with the Shelly fans, buddy

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  On 4/28/2021 at 8:28 AM, Mindlack said:

In my opinion 48, 54, 57 or 64 are far better to cheer on. 

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Za fuckin' wot, mate?

 

Pray be patient with me because I'm reading... slowly but steadily. My goal is to catch up by the time you finish the story but here I might be irrationally optimistic 😅 I wish my reading wasn't teenager level fam

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  On 10/31/2019 at 2:27 PM, Mindlack said:

there's a Gym where the Leader requires people to fight naked in the dark

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Sounds hot

 

  On 10/31/2019 at 2:27 PM, Mindlack said:

We made ourselves miserable -- by our own fault. It's slowly mending, but scars remain, even though it was not nearly as bad as your situation. What I mean is: I'm not sure you should say this, it is going to bite you back!

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Wonder if Gabby's bro will have a cameo. Maybe he's had, and I'm just late to the party 🤔 I guess I'll see for myself 20 light years later when I actually get to that chapter lmao

 

Forgive me for some super old stuff being dug out by me reading at snail's pace.

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  On 4/28/2021 at 4:49 PM, Evi Crystal said:

Also... I'm now so T R I G G E R E D for what Ricardo did with Shelly. That's much worse than being held in knifepoint😨😢

 

Now I kinda afraid to imagine about the others. I guess the Yureyu arc will be this explicitly, if you ask me. However I like how Team Meteor is portrayed as the villainous group with no mercy. Reminds me of Team Rocket here

 

Also have with the Shelly fans, buddy

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I don’t quite remember why I changed the knifepoint to something more explicit. I mean, I can justify it a posteriori or from a storytelling viewpoint, but (now that I’m thinking of it) I’m not sure any more why I wanted the change. 😅

Yes, the villains are darker, more ruthless here than canon. And they have psychotic, violent henchmen because of course there would be some, and they would end up in these circles. There are more normal Meteor grunts, of course. 


 

I’m not too sure how long I can sustain it without making everyone else edgy too, just to keep up. I seriously considered someone taking reverse hostages but it would be going too far for now... 

 

As for the others – well, you’ll see what happens.
 


 

  On 4/28/2021 at 5:10 PM, Candy said:

Pray be patient with me because I'm reading... slowly but steadily. My goal is to catch up by the time you finish the story but here I might be irrationally optimistic 😅 I wish my reading wasn't teenager level fam

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Take your time, Candy! I’m being slower these days so that should help you. And tbh I really hope to finish it someday but I’m still afraid to end up dropping it. I have to be patient anyway to keep going on and believe in the finish line, so of course you can read at your rhythm! 
 

There’s no problem in bringing up the older parts of the story too! 

 

  On 4/28/2021 at 8:09 PM, Candy said:

Sounds hot

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Actually, (this isn’t said in the story itself and it’s rather clumsy, but it ends up brought up again so read at your own risk):

 

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(and now I’m realizing there’s someone else). 


 

  On 4/28/2021 at 8:09 PM, Candy said:

Wonder if Gabby's bro will have a cameo. Maybe he's had, and I'm just late to the party 🤔 I guess I'll see for myself 20 light years later when I actually get to that chapter lmao

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I’m undecided for the cameo. He may intervene in Gabriel’s thoughts, but a real cameo would be harder – at least to justify in the story. I do have an idea, but I’m not sure I’m going to follow through with it. 
 

 

Finally, a little “numerology” explanation (I’m a math guy, of course I’d choose numbers to cheer on accordingly):

 

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That hypothetical dude tried to look cool by choosing some prime number that wasn't mainstream and totally eff'd it up

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  On 4/28/2021 at 8:50 PM, Candy said:

That hypothetical dude tried to look cool by choosing some prime number that wasn't mainstream and totally eff'd it up

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I know it’s just a joke, and I know I should let it go, but I just can’t. Sorry for the little rant. 


I’m over 90 percent sure the guy was far, far above “looking cool”. He was thinking on an unprecedentedly abstract level, at which it was utterly irrelevant (and maybe even dangerous for comprehension) what prime number it could be (although, depending on the problem, small primes can exhibit funny behavior – I wish I could remember specific examples).

Again, this story is more than dubious. But it makes 57 the “funny not-prime”, I guess. 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Good evening! 

 

So it's been quite a while. I'm a little busy at the moment, and rewriting the chapter took longer than I expected. 

That might not be unrelated to the fact that the new text is, for some reason, twice as long. I really hope this doesn't get erased in a random glitch, otherwise it'll probably end up being 40-ish pages long... 

 

(sorry, Candy)

 

Warning: there are hints to some information spelled out in late game (E17-E18, I think). 

Not sure how explicit they are. Don't hesitate to comment on what you infer from the text!

 

 

Chapter 51: Showtime

 

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That's all for today. I'll try to make the next chapters come faster. It shouldn't be too hard, as I have a few ideas for the immediate next steps following the Yureyu rescue. 

 

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Yeah, go Charlotte! Kick some Meteor butt and fried Sirius and Sigmund's butts✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽

 

You're making me go wild, when I'm reading this arc and my heart is pumping over it's limit. Keep going with your work, but without any stress and pressure😊🌹

 

However I find it quite nice, that you put the conversation between Sigmund and Sirius; looks like the former has caught himself in his own trap now *claps in sarcasm*. To be fair, these two bastards are my favourite villain duo so far (both in game even and despite I admit, that Sirius is a dark villain to love and hate for that).

 

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But Cain... Please why? No more Earthquakes please.... You'll get them all killed😨

 

I just hope, everyone will get out into safety, but the trauma will stick with them after 3 days of horrible mistreatment. Poor kids😔

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  On 5/17/2021 at 11:28 AM, Evi Crystal said:

Yeah, go Charlotte! Kick some Meteor butt and fried Sirius and Sigmund's butts✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽

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Sorry, but Sigmund and Sirius just left. For some reason, Sirius had the weirdest idea that he didn't have to systematically do all the dirty jobs.

Also, please don't encourage Charlotte too much. The Earthquake may or may not collapse this derelict, damaged building.

Rocks fall, everyone dies.

 

  Quote

You're making me go wild, when I'm reading this arc and my heart is pumping over it's limit. Keep going with your work, but without any stress and pressure😊🌹

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Thank you!

(although tbh I sort of need pressure to work. If I don't have enough, I tend to... take... myy... tiiimmmeeeee...)

 

  Quote

However I find it quite nice, that you put the conversation between Sigmund and Sirius; looks like the former has caught himself in his own trap now *claps in sarcasm*. To be fair, these two bastards are my favourite villain duo so far (both in game even and despite I admit, that Sirius is a dark villain to love and hate for that).

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I'm realizing that I don't really buy canon!Connal who basically is a deluded lunatic thinking he's a doctor. So I tried to make him a little more sensible... except that sensible people don't associate with terrorists more than they have to. So Sirius had to coerce him.

(And I liked the idea of him getting a little pwned because of his own choices, since he didn't realize that Sirius would pull off a Darth Vader ["I'm altering the deal. Pray that I do not alter it further."])

 

 

  Quote

But Cain... Please why? No more Earthquakes please.... You'll get them all killed😨

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Cain is supposed to be the most impulsive of the three. He also had a recent, personal and very unpleasant experience at Team Meteor's hands, so it's not very surprising that he would snap. I think he wouldn't Earthquake in this situation -- it's not as if that would actually help him get revenge on the Meteors.

 

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I just hope, everyone will get out into safety, but the trauma will stick with them after 3 days of horrible mistreatment. Poor kids😔

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Four days, not three, if I counted correctly... 😥

I'd love to comment a little more about this, but this may not be the best chapter for that. Maybe after chapters 53 or 54?

 

As for the twins:

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  On 5/17/2021 at 8:50 PM, Mindlack said:

Also, please don't encourage Charlotte too much. The Earthquake may or may not collapse this derelict, damaged building.

Rocks fall, everyone dies.

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Ah yes, I'm aware of that. But I love to see Charlotte in action, like she did back in the orphanage along with her Pokemon and let's hope she isn't that reckless.

 

  On 5/17/2021 at 8:50 PM, Mindlack said:

Cain is supposed to be the most impulsive of the three. He also had a recent, personal and very unpleasant experience at Team Meteor's hands, so it's not very surprising that he would snap. I think he wouldn't Earthquake in this situation -- it's not as if that would actually help him get revenge on the Meteors.

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I kinda mean the children, Aya and Gabriel as well😅

And I kinda forgot about, that he was tortured as well by the Meteors.

 

  On 5/17/2021 at 8:50 PM, Mindlack said:

Sorry, but Sigmund and Sirius just left. For some reason, Sirius had the weirdest idea that he didn't have to systematically do all the dirty jobs.

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Ah booo😑

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think the title speaks for itself. 

 

 

Chapter 52: The Show goes on

 

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Player's note:

 

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Holy hell, this is pretty madness right here. I'm glad that the children are safe for now... Well only Shelly must be taken out safely.

 

  On 5/26/2021 at 2:34 PM, Mindlack said:

Heather turned towards him and Hardy gasped. It wasn't just her sickly palor too, nor the bruises on her face or her black eye, it was how vacant her gaze was.

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 This makes my heart breaking; knowing the pain Heather went through and yet it was only the beginning, given what will happen next, of you are going at that route. Poor Heather.

 

  On 5/26/2021 at 2:34 PM, Mindlack said:

 

Anna had somehow carried on, until at least they had been brought with that guy with the eye patch. He had grilled them about their family -- not that they remembered anything -- made fun of their father for being a moron, and taken Anna's pendant, despite her terrified, desperate pleadings.

 

That... man had been interested in Heather too. Alas for her.

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Oh boi, my hate for Sirius is already off the limits. Please don't make me what to snap at that bastard for that. If only he didn't left with Sigmund, than I would be satisfied for Gabriel & Co. to kick their butts.

 

  On 5/26/2021 at 2:34 PM, Mindlack said:

Noel hoped it wasn't too late. Their captivity had been an ordeal to all five of them, but he wondered if they would really make it outside. If the nightmares of this place, of this situation, of their fallout would keep on haunting them. He had already dreamt, months ago, that he was free to leave the Orphanage, only to dream of having nightmares of the place afterwards.

 

He had barely seen Charlotte, but he remembered her anger fits and he wondered if the memory of her beating, her powerlessness, would trigger them more often. He thought of Shelly and the unending panic she had developed in this accursed building.

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I want to give the 5 one them all a nice huge, because I was upset about that😢💔

 

 

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