My Job is so Toxic... (LONG RANT)

[The darn 4th chaos emerald]

I really need to just rant right now. I work at a Weis Markets. I won't say where, but we do live in a shit town. It's no Detroit or anything, but we have lots of druggies, a few meth lab explosions here and there through the years, we just had a standoff where the block I live on got closed down a month ago. Everybody has a fucking attitude, food stamp days are a pain in the ass, people come in here getting nothing but junk. 50 packages of soda 20 chips ahoy and oreos, cakes and cookies, and I have to watch as I work hard for those luxuries (not every food stamper is bad some really need it but these people def dont which pisses me off) and then they cant get half the shit they buy because they just load up everything in their cart and act spoiled because they never worked a day in their life so then we have to put back carts and carts and carts of backshop. Then there's me. I have some problems with anxiety and cant stand getting attitude for no reason, its literally my biggest pet peeve. I also have some IBS which is really bad in the mornings. If i have to use the bathroom i have to and i could be in there for a good 15 minutes if need be. Knowing this, they put me on cashier. T_T I guess it wasnt so bad at first, but then my arm started having problems and now it feels somewhat bloated and the muscle feels a little sore 24/7. Real sore when i lift it up or do cashier for a long time. But then around previous years thanksgiving I was thrown on porch which is getting carts, doing garbage, and cleaning the store when need be (which is a lot ill get into). Never asked me ever just threw me on. Then comes a position open in pharmacy which i had to ask for for months and months to try out. They had actually been hurting for anyone for a little while before i got hired. It was the only position i liked but i only got to do it about 10 or so times. Turns out the reason why i couldnt go there from the beginning was because the top manager at the time absolutley refused to let me go anywhere besides register. He hated with a passion how I had to do porch but they didnt have many other choices. Only after he left did i get pharmacy. But then we got new managers who are just complete assholes. I grinned and beared it for a while but after cleaning excrement off of the floors of the bathrooms almost every day (yes it is that bad i swear) getting yelled at for not doing my job fast enough even though they wont make the other porch people do their jobs so i have to work extra hard dealing with customers giving me attitude currsing at me giving me a hard time no matter what i do, I started getting miserable obviously. I asked and asked and asked for a job in the back, i know we needed general inventory, frozen, and seafood and i would have dealt with them fine. They would tell me yes and say to just wait a bit while they put it in the schedule. Well, every fucking time they would hire people to fill those positions and be like "oh sorry theres no room". So here I am doing porch in the blizzards and slush, doing register having to do 300 dollar orders over and over because the news said blizzard warning so everybody has to hibernate like a fucking bear or else theyre totally gonna die (later the same people started giving attitude because their dumbasses were spending so much). Then they decided to give their only two other porch people month long vacations so for the entire past summer (May to around September) in the hundred degree weather every day. For 10 hours sometimes since i was, you know, the only one there. Continuously told i would get a shift in the back just getting lied to over and over. Finally after thanksgiving i give a two weeks notce. Our new manager (not the top one) who had been working there for about a month talked to me and said wait till january and i promise ill get you a shift in the back. Week later he calls me to the back and tells me its not happening ever. Fine. i didnt believe him anyway and told him like two days after we talked the first time i didnt want to stay anyway (btw a month prior my other 2 managers told me they were looking for somewhere in the back to put me for about the 6th time never happened obviously). Too much of a shitty work environment. Yesterday I made the fatal mistake of asking WHY. Why couldnt i get in the back anywhere? There were jobs open all the fucking time. He tells me that,

 

and I kid you not....

 

It was because I was too miserable to the customers. .................yeah, and he also said he wanted to vouch for me but I gave him nothing to work with.

 

I have worked there since last September. I work an average of 30 hours a week, I have called off twice in my entire time working there, once on the day my Grandfather died and another when my entire mouth hurt and i had an infection on my tooth that was drilled open because my previous dentist failed the root canal and i was in too much pain. I worked and slaved there for an entire fucking year, I can name people who called off more than they showed up, the dozens of people who had no work ethic and stayed for MAYBE two weeks before just straight up quitting. And this is what I always get. Never "thanks", never "good job today", just "youre not doing your job well enough do it better jackass".

 

And then we get to me being miserable. Yes, that was the biggest reason he gave me. I was too miserable towards customers so logically they keep me where I interact with the customers the most. Makes perfect sense I know. Yet, it was never such a problem that they couldnt call me to the back and talk about it? They never mentioned it to me, nothing. Maybe i'm miserable because my managers are some of the shittiest at their jobs Ive ever seen. Maybe the people I deal with 24/7 treat me like shit and I have to grin and bear it. Maybe I have to look at all the happy workers in the back and see what I should have gotten. Maybe its because I have more and more medical problems by the day. Maybe because my left private part has pain every now and then and I went to a urologist and he said nothings wrong go home and charged 200 bucks. Maybe every time I go to the doctors for any problem at all i hear nothings wrong and get charged hundreds for just sitting there basically. Maybe because I tell them all these things over and over but all they seem to care about is their fucking bank accounts. Maybe they never actually talk to people about their problems and just go "eh fuck it" all the time. I had the most painful fucking migraine last night from crying so hard.

 

I guess I've met some cool people there. On other kid they hired for porch is in to pokemon and he even got a shiny manaphy

But a few friends is not worth a year of torture.

Something that kind of sucks is that I have a crush on one of my coworkers. I feel weird about it. Shes like, twice my age, prolly married, almost never talk to her because she works in the back. Shes just super nice and cute. I'm just some nerdy 20 year old kid who has medical problems up the ass and still lives with his mom because i cant afford to move out. Every day I have to go there and see what could have been. Nobody in the back quits, they dont have to deal with all the bullshit we do. Sometimes we dont even have a closer cashier because we dont have anybody or nobody want to show up to work because it fucking sucks. Ive even stayed till 11 pm one night and had a 6 am shift the very next morning. They offered me to go home at 9 but i stayed because no one else there knew how to close. I didnt need the money too badly that week, I did it because i didnt want the others to suffer or get in trouble. But what do they care anyway? Apparently thats not good at all.

 

So yeah, If you want to work at a Weis Markets I can definitely say dont. Im sure theyre not all bad but retail is a shitty job anyway. Im supposed to work next week but I think ill just quit. If they dont want me around people being miserable fine. They wont have to worry about it.

 

Anyways thanks for reading if you did. Letting it out helps me a lot. Any little thing i can do helps these days since I dont have much to be happy about. I try but its hard sometimes.