in which alice asked for absolutely none of this, thanks

[Sousoup]

Disclaimer: Strictly for fun! A narration of a joyride through the wonderful world of Reborn

 

1.

 

The train was uncomfortable, you know. So stuffy, even if there were only six other people there (Or maybe seven? Did she count wrong?), which is exactly why she had yanked the window down. 

 

Ah, yes, the Reborn region. Hate it or love it, you had to admit--it was an absolute mess. But she had missed the registration period for the league back in Sinnoh, and she sure wasn't going to wait another year for it to open up again. She was kind of late on the whole Pokemon thing, anyways, and that meant she really had to get her ass in gear. 

 

... Which is why she paid much more attention to Ame after she said she was the manager for the whole thing. Who knows, maybe that would get her some brownie points, you know? Making friends in high places, and all that.

 

It certainly seemed that way, what with being launched sideways out of the open window. Alice barely had the time to suspend her disbelief before the entire train fucking exploded. Her eyes slammed shut, her mouth opened to scream--

 

The impact of her ribs against cobblestone knocked the breath out of her, and then a piece of train to the face knocked her out.

 

She should have gone to Galar, Arceus damnit. 

 

She got a Turtwig out of it, at least. That was nice. 

 

2. 

 

Why Julia and Florinia thought it was a good idea to drag two new trainers into a minefield, she'll never know. Not to mention she got stuck with this asshole, who's name was apparently Grass. For his ass, probably, because she practically pummeled his stupid green head into the dirt--Not that he'd admit it. 

 

Ugh. 

 

Fern says something unintelligible and unintelligent off to the side. She rolls her eyes at him as hard as she can before asking "What the hell are field effects?" It's a mistake, obviously, because Fern was clearly not the type of person to not make fun of her.  

 

If they get into a small fistfight in the middle of a terrorist base, that's their own business. 

 

3. 

 

She gets slaughtered by Julia twice before managing to scrape by a win. Great. Then she gets to fight her way past a flock of homeless people (because there are plants growing out of the street, what) before getting murdered by a pack of Scrafty. 

 

God, she should have listened to Victoria. 

 

Anyways, she met two randos who saved a Popplio, so that was... Whatever.

 

4. 

 

"Wait, did I just watch them die? Holy--Florinia, Amaria--" 

 

"I don't care who you are, what the fuck is that thing?!" 

 

"No, no, nonono, I don't want to battle you. No way. Wreck a few more cities for all I care, I really don't want to battle you--"

 

"... Oh, fuck,"

 

What is wrong with this region? 

 

5. 

 

"Fern, I am going to flay you alive," She mutters, storming down the road towards the other half of the school. What bullshit was he on? What gave him the right to stop her? Sure, she didn't like him, but this was just ridiculous. Was he even allowed to pull this kind of shit? Actually, no, she wouldn't be surprised, nepotism and all that--

 

Ooh, she was going to bust his ass to Kalos and back. What was his freaking problem? Did he have some kind of grudge against her, or something? Was it just some kind of inherent dislike of Turtwig? Was it because his sister was a gym leader? The kind of whiny brat that he was, she wouldn't be surprised. Well, she was going to snitch on him to his sister and they'd see who had the last laugh, ha. 

 

... If she ever got to Florinia, that is.

 

"Arceus, I don't care what level Cubchoo evolves, just let me in!" Couldn't it be like all the normal gyms back home, where all you had to do was knock a few heads? What was with all this trivia shit? Who cared enough about Cubchoo to learn this sort of stuff? It's not like there were any Cubchoo in Reborn, for all she knew. There weren't any other Pokemon around here. 

 

(For her information, it was level 37, the seventeenth book said. They needed better organization in this place.)

 

"Fern," Alice snarls, stomping into the room. Her newly evolved Butterfree flutters in after her. "What the hell was that for?! You aren't allowed to do that!" 

 

Fern is unfortunately not threatened by a butterfly and her bright red face, and proceeds to laugh in it. "Don't take it so personally, man! You're just a loser! I'm just doing you a favor, you know, not that you'd thank me, or anything, but--"

 

Butterfree spits a wad of string in his face. 

 

(Florinia wipes the floor with her, sure, but Alice is still riding on that high and can't find herself caring too much.)

 

6. 

 

"Where the fuck is Jasper Ward?" Alice asks, having walked to Obsidia and then to Coral and then to Opal again.

 

"Where the fuck is Jasper Ward?!" Alice begs, having just been attacked by a Noivern. 

 

.

 

"What do you mean it's in West Peridot,"