Loser

[Smooth]

Every one of us are stupendously flawed in fascinating ways. That’s called being a human. Although they’ll always be those manipulating and lying to others for their own gain. It’s a game of mafia. Essentially where they’re many variations of this game between a minority hunting down a majority. Mafia vs Towns + the third parties who’re probably fishing in pool of blood and guts.

As exciting the roles, rules, lynching, killing, and winning the game provides to everyone, truth and lies are what determines the outcome.

I have forgotten the meaning of “it’s just a game” and on the reason I choose to play, I’ve lose myself. 
All I ask is for you to listen to what I’ve experience

 

A 15 year adolescent had been amongst another Pokémon Discord around the 2017. Looking for an affinity for a sever and receiving some attention. The boy’s inactivity obviously wouldn’t get him any friends/people to talk but when he did speak. Often he was corrected on rash statement and spelling errors still to this day. Rushing to have his say. Typical kind of person joined conversation without having anything relevant to say. Sad in some ways, but spirited in becoming apart of this community. His encounter with a moderator (Let’s call her Snow) always kept an eye on those misfortunate on receiving the wrong ends of being.. stupidly wrong. DM’ numerous times of saying inappropriate language, somehow the two in fact did converse their knowledge of Pokémon together. It was nothing but hell and arguing over why using said Pokémon/Moves/Mechanics were terrible or decent. Despite actual calculations into the mix, the boy stupendous believed in the dumbest things that Snow couldn’t process in her head. Claiming him to’ve committed a murder to her IQ. A beginning to a wonderful friendship.

 

Throughout the starting month, the boi’s social networking got busy with many showdown battles / team-building alongside many people in the sever. Snow and sever’s host (Let’s call him JamRoll) organised the tournaments all together. Admittedly it put a smile on his face although lost in the second round. The moderator’s group were similar of that to the Mafia’s Club moderators although somewhat more fishy then them. Especially this one serious jester of the username Ishtar (Personality of Chicken + Cassandra). Usually pulling pranks/trolls throughout the sever and nobody was there to stop him. Bending the rules often and sooner then expected, he went overboard. From hearing rumours from how he’s harmed other by abusive/subtle methods that remotely sets someone on high warning. It wasn’t much of a surprised, many amongst the sever whispered to JamRoll. Ishtar had this coming and was banned temporarily.

The boy mainly contributed to Ishtar’s banning and put myself in trouble to help others... but not that much. Ishtar however did try threaten me in messages but a simple block shut him off. What I imagined would be the end of him, only followed the seedling of the sever’s destruction. I enjoyed what was left of the 2 month with JamRoll, Snow, Ciweed, and others. They were really good people. Near the end of April, JamRoll’s IRL girlfriend also moderator (Let’s call her Babish). Was Ishtar’s remaining connection to the sever as they plotted to steal the Host’s phone and cast mass chaos across the sever. The succeeded effortlessly and used JamRoll’s host account to trick, frame, and place hunts on other. Duo of textbook manipulative narcissist and what they did to the 15yr old.. shattered him. Tricked into questioning strange question to the host that’s answered in way Ishtar would frame him evidently of posting disgusting gore in the general-chat.

 

Now exposed to the entirety of the sever, the boy was thrown into shame and pity by others. And it didn’t end there as he was also instructed to act like a demon and admit to this framing. He denied instantly and was sick of the host’s shit. However Babish also revealed the personal information (address, pictures, etc) of many other moderator including Snow be revealed to the public if he didn’t answer to them. Telling Snow and other’s in advance of the situation. Then followed whoever was behind this like puppets on a string. Others were harmed also being framed of the likes of pornography/ offensive texts. Many people started pointing fingers and later got banned. 18 months later, JamRoll did reach out to everyone who could off. Informing the boy of how the sever died, how it happened, where’s everyone now, and etc. However asking whether he was okay, JamRoll received the typing that Snow has abandon her Discord whiles focusing on her university studies. But mainly how this event scarred the boy, calling him by a username to always remember this moment. Having lost himself throughout the months, calls himself “Loser”

 

 

Then afterwards I changed my username to Anti-Loser and kinda dropped that one for a while. I’ve been participating in the Mafia Games here not to have fun, but face the challenges of seeing through manipulation and lies. After so many attempts, I’ve find myself struggling to make sense of what the actual fuck I’m doing. I’ve not been feeling myself ever since. 

Recently I’ve been quiet poor sportsmanship and been losing focus of others around me. Regardless the situation I was put in, I should’ve never treated the game more than it already was.

It’s alright if people view me as absolute trash, utter shit, dick garbage. If anything, I need to let to go of that moment. I despise manipulation and still fall for it. I want to control it but idk.

It’s quiet a mess. The least I’m thinking of is..

 

 

How can I.. “stay cool”? 
And what should I do to have fun playing a game?

[VividGrey]

Just be yourself I guess. There's not much fun in playing a game if you can't do what you like. And if the game's not any fun, play another game.

[Candy]

The reason why mafia works as a game is that you can’t possibly win every time. Humans by nature are prone to fall for manipulation and well-crafted lies. You can’t learn to see through them with 100% accuracy because that’s just not how human brains are wired. So what you can do to enjoy the game is to have fun getting tricked. It’s frustrating at first when you’re town and you try convince everyone you’re town but no one believes you, but that’s part of the fun of Mafia as a game

[andracass]

13 hours ago, Anti-Loser said:

Especially this one serious jester of the username Ishtar (Personality of Chicken + Cassandra). Usually pulling pranks/trolls throughout the sever and nobody was there to stop him. Bending the rules often and sooner then expected, he went overboard.

what

[Smooth]

1 hour ago, andracass said:

what

(Sorry if I used you and chicken as an example to describe him. You guys are obviously not him)

His personality doesn’t matter but his actions is what hurts. 

 

Ishtar who I thought was just an annoying bully. Become a total creep 

He’s... I would say he is two-face. 
Strict but laughs at other people’s choices 

... yeah I know how ballistic that sounds but that sever was too tamed to begin with. And it’s a Pokémon sever of a 

Point is, screw him

 

Maybe I shouldn’t have made this topic and kept it to myself 

[andracass]

1 hour ago, Anti-Loser said:

(Sorry if I used you and chicken as an example to describe him. You guys are obviously not him)

His personality doesn’t matter but his actions is what hurts. 

 

Ishtar who I thought was just an annoying bully. Become a total creep 

He’s... I would say he is two-face. 
Strict but laughs at other people’s choices 

... yeah I know how ballistic that sounds but that sever was too tamed to begin with. And it’s a Pokémon sever of a 

Point is, screw him

 

Maybe I shouldn’t have made this topic and kept it to myself 

i mean, like, the topic seems fine

if you wanna get something out, that's what this channel's here for...

this was just really weird since a.) literally no one calls me by my full name and b.) knowing both myself and bean it really didn't seem like your followup description of ishtar matched... either of us.

i'm a little curious what server this is/was