me being sensitive or actual,,, rudeness?

[measlesknuckles]

so uhm. i joined the discord server a while back [left after ,,,, the stuff that happened. that i'm talking about in this post. rejoined recently, for some ,, reason.] 

 

i was,,,, kind of complaining? about a really early game boss, since that one in particular was really annoying and kind of hard to beat. then a couple other people said stuff like "come complain when you get to [x]" and it kind of made me feel patronized.... without the kindness part. looked down upon. i don't know if it's just me being sensitive, but it didn't feel,, good. stupid. i mean, they might be right. for this boss a steel type would probably completely overpower it, but i didn't think of it at the time...

[LemonJones]

You're overthinking it. It's one of those annoying internet traits every site, every chat, every comment section has. It gets you at first, later on it's like that meme about listening to your parents tell you about how they had to go to school back in the day. Or an 8th grader telling you as an 7th grader, "just you wait!"

 

Eventually you'll see it as an everyday thing.

 

Now lets say it hurt your gaming ego about you being bad or whatever. First time I played Reborn, I was losing to Aya for like 3 hours.

Then there's Rejuvination which I refuse to play unless it's intense mode (see, right there). Narcissa beat my ass so much in my first play that I had to suck it up and look up how others have done it. Then I decided not to take the advice because fucking... why the fuck would I use cheatslikewhathtewwwwwwwwwwwgjk. Trained up new pokemon my way, spent 4 hours more than I should. Is it silly? You tell me.

Cuphead! My favorite example! That blimp fucking boss in the first world made me ragequit. Now I can blitz through the normal mode in like 1 and a half hour. Got all 3 savefiles on 200% and I could do it again twice as fast. In fact, I can probably challenge myself to a deathless run.

 

I'm not saying don't feel bad. I'm saying get through it. Losing your mind and feeling down over a video game is something we all do. If we're not doing so hot otherwise in life, it feels even worse. But! It's just a part of the process at the time. Useful in the future I might add. Like another level of kaioken.

 

Cheer up my friend, enjoy the game! Take it as a learning experience! Complaints never beat a single boss. Small breaks for a snack and a song you like might!

 

 

[Amethyst]

i don't actually agree with most of the above post. like, maybe it's common, but that doesn't mean it was good. and i remember seeing the conversation as it was going down and being very disappointed with the tone of responses

especially after you already asked to not be teased about it

like maybe that is normal for the internet but as a community we absolutely can and should do better

 

Quote

It gets you at first, later on it's like that meme about listening to your parents tell you about how they had to go to school back in the day. Or an 8th grader telling you as an 7th grader, "just you wait!"

 

speaking more generally, these aren't good things either! it just invalidates other people's feelings, and while it may be common place i certainly don't think it is useful to anyone or worth accepting?

 

losing and learning and improving is part of why games are great, because they set themselves up for you to be able to do that. but the answers aren't as obvious to a newcomer as they are to someone who has already gone through that process repeatedly. and for those people, it's easy to see the answers as obvious-- maybe even frustratingly easy. and so it's easy to forget what it's like to not have that experience and knowledge, and to look down on people for it. that much is naturally every day human, but we can be more mindful about that shortcoming, and more kind to those who are struggling.

 

i'm very sorry it went like that. the server is a place to talk about the game, including complaints. they should be received respectfully, especially when it's outright asked. 

[Edo]

Don't worry, you did the right thing by not ignoring it, or else this kind of behaviour would just continue. People who belittle others are never in the right, don't think it's your fault for being sensitive.

And there can be countless ways to beat a game, so of course noone can always think of all the options. I'm sure that most of us, when we were less experienced, didn't beat every opponent with the best strategy either and also struggled a lot. After all, humans aren't perfect. So I hope you don't feel disheartened by this experience and that you cheer up and keep having fun when playing.

 

[Candy]

Personally speaking, it's true that it doesn't feel good to be told "yah your struggles aren't nothing", but I think saying stuff like that is just part of raw human nature. Everyone likes to push people down so they can feel better about themselves. In this case, laughing at you struggling in an early fight to feel better about themselves that they could beat stronger bosses. It's going to be difficult to stop that behavior unless it's in the rules and people receive warnings for it. I would just ignore them because they probably also struggled when they first started the game, just that they don't even remember it 

[wcv]

11 hours ago, pinkiepop said:

so uhm. i joined the discord server a while back [left after ,,,, the stuff that happened. that i'm talking about in this post. rejoined recently, for some ,, reason.] 

 

i was,,,, kind of complaining? about a really early game boss, since that one in particular was really annoying and kind of hard to beat. then a couple other people said stuff like "come complain when you get to [x]" and it kind of made me feel patronized.... without the kindness part. looked down upon. i don't know if it's just me being sensitive, but it didn't feel,, good. stupid. i mean, they might be right. for this boss a steel type would probably completely overpower it, but i didn't think of it at the time...

Nah, people can be jerks. They sometimes don't mean  to be, but it still happens. Don't apologize for getting upset when someone is mean to you, people getting used to it is part of why it gets ignored when they see it elsewhere.

 

I'm not on the Discord server, so don't know any specifics, but are you still stuck?

[LemonJones]

On 4/2/2020 at 8:22 PM, Amethyst said:

speaking more generally, these aren't good things either! it just invalidates other people's feelings, and while it may be common place i certainly don't think it is useful to anyone or worth accepting?

 

 

Not dissing the feelings or the importance of kindness. Mostly because I've been hit hard and know how a simple word can knock someone down. BUT! Hell yeah it's useful to get blasted back. In a lesson kind of way. Matter of perspective. Besides expecting to get treated back the same way you treat others is nothing but poetic. Not realistic. Doesn't mean you cannot grow from it or seek comfort after. Do that. Do what you got to do to bounce back. 

Not throwing mindfulness out of the window or saying you gotta experience the worst end of it to understand it. However, I do feel strongly that discomfort is your best teacher and makes you expand. That's what I was getting at. 

 

Non of it should be taken too seriously though. Even taking life too seriously messes with your head. All I'm saying is to move on and not to dwell on it and start overthinking. Maybe you do not choose how you feel about it but you choose how to deal with it. 

 

 

 

 

[Neo]

1 hour ago, LemonJones said:

Not dissing the feelings or the importance of kindness. Mostly because I've been hit hard and know how a simple word can knock someone down. BUT! Hell yeah it's useful to get blasted back. In a lesson kind of way. Matter of perspective. Besides expecting to get treated back the same way you treat others is nothing but poetic. Not realistic. Doesn't mean you cannot grow from it or seek comfort after. Do that. Do what you got to do to bounce back. 

Not throwing mindfulness out of the window or saying you gotta experience the worst end of it to understand it. However, I do feel strongly that discomfort is your best teacher and makes you expand. That's what I was getting at. 

 

Non of it should be taken too seriously though. Even taking life too seriously messes with your head. All I'm saying is to move on and not to dwell on it and start overthinking. Maybe you do not choose how you feel about it but you choose how to deal with it.

You ever think about how it's not anyone's job to dole out these lessons? Like, what purpose does this mindset serve? If someone is being a dick, they're not doing it for the person on the receiving end's sake, they're doing it to cut down the person they're speaking to. Treating others with respect shouldn't be based on expectation of reciprocity, but because you operate in a way that is innately respectful to other people. The pep talk you're giving effectively minimizes OP's feelings, and I think you should reflect on why you're taking this approach.

 

On 4/2/2020 at 12:14 PM, pinkiepop said:

so uhm. i joined the discord server a while back [left after ,,,, the stuff that happened. that i'm talking about in this post. rejoined recently, for some ,, reason.] 

 

i was,,,, kind of complaining? about a really early game boss, since that one in particular was really annoying and kind of hard to beat. then a couple other people said stuff like "come complain when you get to [x]" and it kind of made me feel patronized.... without the kindness part. looked down upon. i don't know if it's just me being sensitive, but it didn't feel,, good. stupid. i mean, they might be right. for this boss a steel type would probably completely overpower it, but i didn't think of it at the time...

Sorry the this happened to you, young monarch. You deserved better, and Reborn is capable of that. I do hope this hasn't soured your image of our wonderful community.

[LemonJones]

19 hours ago, Neo said:

You ever think about how it's not anyone's job to dole out these lessons? Like, what purpose does this mindset serve? If someone is being a dick, they're not doing it for the person on the receiving end's sake, they're doing it to cut down the person they're speaking to. Treating others with respect shouldn't be based on expectation of reciprocity, but because you operate in a way that is innately respectful to other people. The pep talk you're giving effectively minimizes OP's feelings, and I think you should reflect on why you're taking this approach.

 

Sorry the this happened to you, young monarch. You deserved better, and Reborn is capable of that. I do hope this hasn't soured your image of our wonderful community.

All of the things you directed at me can be answered in my previous post. All of it. Then you continued to patronise me. Felt so comfortable yapping about nothing just because you disagree with my stance. 

 

What I did not want to believe is that most of these posts don't want to hear nothing but vague comfort words and compliments. Apparently that's what the wonderful part is all about to you. I'll be leaving now. And take my reality with me. 

You guys keep it peachy. Watch out for the sour apples.