[IC]TotMG:LF The Ships

[Chevaleresse]

Scarlet gave Sucrose another Look. "You really don't know anything about biology, do you?" She rummaged about in her bag for something to improvise as a container for the stuff. There was no reason to trust them, but equally no reason to distrust them as well. If all else failed, she had backups. "The 'cuties' get into wounds and kill people. Part of my job is making sure people don't die horrible agonizing deaths of infection." The ex-pirate rubbed at her head. The kinds of people this job surrounded her with. . . "It isn't pretty."

[kj1225]

Jack nods. "So we got this distress call from a little port town on some other world back in time, like around the age of vikings..." Jack regales Zoe with the definitely true tale of how he and his brave crew slew an army of dragons threatening the world, lead by the seemingly unstoppable warlord Firefang! It had been an uphill struggle, battling their way through The Mountain Fortress of the Inferno Peaks, The Enterprise bombarding the dragons and leading the charge, while Jack snuck in through the caves below the mountains. He eventually reached the throne room, where he lured out Firefang into a trap he had constructed which blew up the warlord and his bodyguard, forcing the leader to retreat before the Enterprise hunted him down for a decisive final battle where finally The Cursed Cannonball of Hemottep ended the dragons life with a shot through it's heart! "...And so, we returned victoriously, and partied for an entire week straight!" Jack poses victoriously as he finishes recounting his tale.

[DragonRage]

"Impressive!" Zoe claps a few times, "I had no idea you could get fire damage out of a wooden ship that fast without dock time!  You must be very proud of your carpenter,"  She looks down at the deck speculatively, "How did he get wood that's so resistant to fire?  Where can I get some of that?"

[Hal Henderics]

"Hey, I know plenty about biology!  I've already developed a veritable library of biologically inspired shapeshifting blueprints.

 

With that, she holds up a finger and it glows for a moment, before emitting an acrid scent.

 

"You think any other gem could shape-shift an acidic molecular structure into their light like this?  I've even been working on cultivating some of those neat cells from you gem-shaped organics.  Oh once I get enough, I'm sure I'll crack the code on how an organic lifeform could be as smart as you are without so much as gem fragments involved in the process."

 

She holds up a hand with a suspiciously petri-dish like divot in the middle of its palm.

 

When Scarlet explains why the little bacteria are such a bad thing, Sucrose is enlightened and displeased.

 

"Well that isn't very nice of them at all." She says, her cheeks puffing out as she crosses her arms.

 

 

[kj1225]

Jack is silent for a few moments before clapping. "Ah, it's because the wood was still soaked from being in the water! Made it so that it wouldn't ignite near as fast, but every gout of fire made dryer so it was a race against time to kill Firefang!"

[DragonRage]

Zoe considers that for a moment.  "Pity you expended the Cursed Cannonball of Hemottep.  It's always interesting to examine magic items, especially ones from other worlds.  But I suppose an army of dragons is a pretty serious threat if your prep work to deal with the fire breath is on a time limit.  Pretty lucky you hit the dragon in the heart, too.  Smoothbores generally aren't that accurate, well, not unless I'm shooting them."

[kj1225]

Jack nods. "Oh for sure, but our main gunner had plenty of incentive, on account of the threat of fire. Tell ya what, you'll never find a better shot than Peter "Wooden Legs"!" Jack says with a laugh.

[DragonRage]

"I'd say 'wanna bet', but I'm a bit light on things to bet at the moment.  So I'll just have to take a rain check on that one."

[StormLord]

After a tense few minutes having woken up in a shipping container and having something about "Multiverse" and "Life-debt" and "You're bounty hunters now" explained by an asshole calling himself Handsome Jack through a robot.  Alex and Joaquin feel the shipping container shift with the grinding of metal, settling down through something before a loud *BANG* against the side and the feeling of sudden acceleration.

 

Staring out into the void Stella notices an odd point of light forming in the horizon, growing and growing before....
She ducks out of the way just in time for a Hyperion branded shipping container to fly past with breaking thrusters going full throttle.  It couples with the side of My First Ship IV and she hears the hiss of airlocks opening automatically.

A&J see a small spartan ship opening up before them, a number of robots similar to before pace around turning dials and adjusting levers while a handful of other odd characters interact further in.  Including an odd shot woman with decidedly caramel colored skin and a yellow dress talking with a white haired teenage(?) girl with an oversized gun slung on her back.

[AzyWng]

The cargo container opened to reveal two people sitting in the front of a van with tank treads. The van was painted a bright blue, with an odd-looking machine gun mounted to the top. The two people inside were busy having some kind of argument.

 

"... fuck me... ...understand their murderous tendencies... ...life debts? ...already owe me one of those?"

"... could've done things... ...professionally. ...obtuse as fuck... ...force us to sign...."

"... the SNC? ...that guy... ...disappearing?"

"... SNC gives a shit... ...two nobodies with a van... ...one gun?"

"Wh- Alex, you asshole! I'm not a nobody!"

"Joaquin, you fucking pillock, that wasn't what I meant!"

 

The argument was interrupted when Alex spotted the odd woman in front of them, and, appearing to forget about their argument, he rolled down the windows so she could better hear the two of them.

"Oh, hey. I'm Alex, this is Joaquin."

"I love the gun you've got there."

"Joaquin, what the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm trying to be friendly!"

"By ruining any semblance of professionalism we have?"

"Oh, come on, our new boss tossed us out here in a shipping container! And we're not exactly in suits and ties, now are we? Pull the stick out your ass, okay?"

"That's no excuse for overt flirtation straight away!"

"What makes you think it's 'overt flirtation'? First off, you know I'm not that kind of guy. Second off, it's a nice-looking gun!"

"You thought the exact same thing about Derek's last contraption before it gave you those burns on your hands!"

"Your twitchy fucking hands snapped off the safety!"

"And whose fucking fault is it that it was placed right on the barrel and had all the durability of a twig?"

 

The two of them seem to have completely forgotten about the two people they were trying to talk to.

[Chevaleresse]

"I haven't exactly met a lot of talking rocks." She wasn't deaf to the tone Sucrose's remarks on organic life were taking, and she wasn't above retorting with her own. "I'm also not really here to give you a lecture on the difference between biology and organic chemistry. I'm just trying to make it so the number of corpses per job is as low as possible." Any heat that was in her tone faded to vaguely annoyed exhaustion once more. Here's hoping this shit actually works. Scarlet still wasn't clear on what happened between now and the last memory she had of her previous crew, but judging by the circumstances, it was probably what happened to most mercenaries. 

[Hal Henderics]

"That's weird... Didn't you say you were here to get Swagged Needles, Anesthetic, and Disinfectants?" Sucrose recites with a finger to her chin.

 

She shrugs with a smile. "And I haven't met any organics at all!  Well, other than a few samples that I got to have a look at when my line was being tested.  Those ones weren't very interesting though."

 

She gets a wider smile at this.

 

"Oh, but just imagine if I had access to organic lifeforms like yourself.  I could have proven without a doubt the use in my line's purpose.  Oh well."

 

Sucrose giggles as if it were worth a laugh at.

 

"I'm sure by the time I return to Homeworld, I'll have amassed quite the library of useful tricks, and that's all that really matters."

"Until then, of course, It would certainly help me if all of my samples were alive and kicking, so I'm still supremely interested in finding out how physical repairs work on organics.  They certainly wouldn't work on a gem!"

[Chevaleresse]

"Yes." Scarlet stifled another sigh. Just treat her like a version of Sadish that's a toddler. Except she's also kind of racist. It was moments like these where the ex-pirate almost wished she were religious; people with something to pray to seemed to be more able to deal with nonsense than she. "I need the disinfectants to sterilize the wound and needles to close it. The anesthetic is to make sure I'm not torturing someone at the same time." Despite her irritation with Sucrose, she couldn't help the curiosity that had slowly crept up about certain things she'd said. "What's all this about testing your line, anyway?"

[Hal Henderics]

"Well, I don't know how you organics organize your empires, but with Gemkind, every gem fills a tailor-built purpose.  We have Quartzes for the soldiers, Rubies for the bodyguards, Lapises for Terraforming."

 

"I don't know the details, of course, but Sucrose, the organic chemical produced by many forms of plant life as a chemical fuel-storage method, has a crystalline structure that can effectively harness light when incubated correctly in a Kindergarden environment, so someone decided to see if my line could serve a purpose too, and produced a few of us for testing."

 

She frowns slightly at the memory.

 

"Sadly,  I don't think we made the cut.  'Manipulation of organic lifeforms lacks practical application not filled by other roles, and molecular-scale vision and shapeshifting are similarly filled by other gem subsets', they said.  I was slated for harvesting, then Jack did whatever it is he did, and now I'm here!"  Despite her chipper tone, one might struggle to think of any positive way anyone could interpret the term 'harvesting' in relation to people, much less people in what appears to be a strict alien caste system.

 

She smiles unerringly.

 

"I really should get back to Homeworld as soon as is feasible, though.  It's obvious that organic life has more potential than my testing supervisors gave credit.  Why, just the potential for new shapeshifting blueprints alone would be worth a great deal."

[Chevaleresse]

"Well, humans don't really come in templates like that. Not for lack of trying." It sounded like wherever Sucrose hailed from had it down to a science, however, if they were able to create sapient life by "incubating" some sugar. Scarlet wasn't sure how to feel about that initially, but the way Sucrose continued pointed her in a decidedly negative direction. "You sure you want to go back? They decided that you were so useless you didn't deserve to live, sounds like." It wasn't hard to figure out what "harvesting" meant here, even if the specifics weren't known to her. "People with technology and morals like that are the kind you need to stay far away from." She gave a bitter-sounding laugh. "Not that I can talk about morals."

[Hal Henderics]

"Well duh!  There's a resource crisis going on!  I don't know the details, but the empire can't exactly afford to waste any resources on frivolous things right now."  Sucrose says.

 

"I wouldn't know anything about morality, though.  I leave that sort of thinking to those sort of thinkers." she says, unsure how to respond to Scarlet's assertion that the empire is morally wrong.

 

 

[Chevaleresse]

Scarlet's expression was a faint mix of horror and disgust. "Sapient life isn't a frivolous thing." She shook her head. "Lesson number one in morality, I guess."

[StormLord]

Seeing Sucrose and Scarlet embroiled in their conversation Harold decides it would be best to at least welcome the new recruits to this....thing that passed for a space ship.  The man in an odd combination of beige jumpsuit(?) and brown leather jacket walks over to the entryway that had lowered to reveal Alex and Joaquin.
"Well would ya look at what the ranch mouser done dragged in.  Don't mind those two they're peaceful, ehh mostly."
If anything was apparent in Harold's voice it was the heavy drawl and lack of respect for the letter "t".
"I didn't catch your names, but I'm guessing you're here for the ride?"

[AzyWng]

"At the end of the day, it was your fault you chose to trust someone whose hobbies include paint huffing and insulting Loyalist Soldiers at the nearest Texas -"

"Alex!"

"Joaquin, shut up! I'm - oh."

There was an awkward pause as Alex realized he'd been ranting right in front of the people who were going to be his colleagues.

"Heh. Nice one."

"Oh, go fuck yourself."

"I think we both know who I'd rather fu-"

"Joaquin, shut up!"

Alex took a moment to catch his breath. If one looked closely enough, one might detect a bit of a blush beneath the goggles he wore. Joaquin's own face sported a big dumb grin.

"Anyway, I'm Alex, that's Joaquin. I suppose you could say we are, but more specifically, we're here about a contract. We, uh, don't have to buy the terms and conditions to it, do we?"

"What's their deal, anyway?" Joaquin asked, gesturing to Scarlet and Sucrose. "The two of them haven't started kissing or kicking one another, so I'm gonna guess their relationship isn't the same as ours."

[StormLord]

 "Well I'm Harold, nice to meet y'all."

Harold reaches up and offers Alex and Joaquin each a firm callused handshake.

"Oh them?  To be quite honest I don't think the yellow one is human in anything more than shape.  But Scarlet is an experienced mercenary."

[AzyWng]

"Good to know we're not the only ones."

"What about you? What do you bring to the table? I mean, the two of us got this baby," Joaquin slapped the door of the Party Van to emphasize his point, "And Scarlet's got her rifle and other kit - I'm assuming the not-human's got her own skillset, but I'll ask her about it later. But your rifle sure isn't as fancy as hers, and you don't seem to be glowing with supernatural powers yourself, not that we're any better in that regard."

"Unfortunately, we don't have much in the way of firepower right now besides our Stutter machinegun. And as much as I'd love to ram our foes, our vehicle isn't really in the best shape for that."

"What are you talking about? We're packing plenty of fire and power right in our glove box!"

"Fifteen tapes of 'Avenged Sevenfold' is not an appropriate substitute for a good Carlos!"

"It sounds a hell of a lot better!"

"And I'm sure they'll play 'em at our funerals!"

 

Despite the snark and arguing, the two men seemed happy to be shouting at one another, like it was a ritual they'd practiced hundreds of times before.

[StormLord]

Harold reaches over and raps the reinforced sheet metal wall of the ship with the back of his knuckles just hard enough to get a dull thud.

"I've made rust buckets that make this thing look like a luxury cruiser fly in a vacuum.  Course' where I from you've still got cold unforgiving space out there instead ah....nothin'."
Harold shrugs off the sudden dwelling on the severity of the situation after a few moments.
"Suppose yer just as dead either way.  Anyhow, the rest ah the crew consists of a super soldier with no regard for his own life, some kinda space wizard, an outdated pirate, some kid hooked on holo tapes, a lady who stares at things, an' a hothead claiming to be a god."

[Chevaleresse]

Hearing her name finally prompted Scarlet to turn around and acknowledge the newcomers. "Somehow, I also ended up being the only medical professional here. Which means I get to do whatever I want with you if you get any new and interesting orifices blown in you." Her dry tone didn't make it clear whether this was an attempt at humor or intimidation. Great, more kids to keep alive. She elected not to comment on the earlier exchange about hitting on her. The merc wasn't sure if she would even notice at this point. Not for lack of interest, but for the fact that most people who would do so were people she wasn't exactly interested in for one reason or another. 

[AzyWng]

Joaquin just gave a sad smile as he shook his head almost pityingly. "You know, listening to you, I'm reminded of someone I knew back on Solo Nobre." The man turned to his partner. "Wouldn't you agree that this gal seems kinda like her?"

"Don't really see how that's relevant-"

"Just answer the question."

Alex sighed and nodded reluctantly. "I guess she does seem somewhat similar in attitude, at least. There a point in comparing our only source of medical care to people she wouldn't know right in front of her?"

Joaquin tilted his head back and forth in an exaggerated manner, as if he was literally rolling his thoughts around in his head. "Oh, I was just thinking of a way to tell her her sarcastic behavior wasn't terribly unique or interesting. Want to tell her make it fuck off before I fall asleep right here where I'm sitting."
"And thus your pattern of insulting doctors continues. Which, by the way, also isn't terribly unique or interesting. And I'm telling you to make it fuck off before I knock you out right where you're sitting."

"Hey, I'll have you know it's-"

Waving his words away, Alex turned to Scarlet. "Don't worry too much about him. He's always like this."

"Don't be patronizing, Alex! I'm sure she already knows that we're the comic relief who are supposed to die near the end to signal the permanent change in tone,"

"If you want me to do some punching on your behalf, Scarlet..."

[StormLord]

Harold raises one eyebrow at Juaquin's continued harassment.
"Ya know kid just because she's the only one with a license doesn't mean that she's the only one who can figure out how to dig out a bullet or sew closed a wound.  'Course it'd take me a while longer on account of having to dig out my sewing kit and wipe the crud off 'it.  Or you could ask the pirate man, pretty sure he's got'emself a carpenter on his ship."