Nico Nico Nii~ Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Sure. Trainer name? Okay going with Rin Etsuki, and will give details tomorrow in character thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomas Elliot Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Ummmm... I took a look at your character profile, and some of the things give me concerns about it being a bit Sue-ish. Would you mind changing her full name to something more realisitic, as well as possibly removing her "perfect vision in the dark" thing? I wouldn't want any of the recruits to have innate special powers which elevate them above their peers. The empathy thing is fine, so long as you keep it to allied Pokemon. Make it less of being able to understand each other, and more of some chemical-level attraction Dark-types feel towards her. Also, what's your TTar's nickname? Sue-ish? And well yes I just went a bit random with her "powers", I guess they can be toned down (do I need to edit the post in the other thread or can we just get by with a mutual agreement here?). As for TTar's nick... Sigh I suck at nicknames, how do you name a huge, T-Rex-esque powerhouse with rocky skin, spiky tail, and an incredibly wide offensive movepool? ...Fluffy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Why don't you edit your post in the other thread, most RPs disapprove of random powers. As for Fluffy, it's your choice; though I named my ingame TTar Kiki, if that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Color Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Wait Druddigon is overpowered? When I think of Psuedo-legends I think of Dragonite, Garchomp, Metagross. The things that are in like OU and Ubers XD I rather ban Flygon and Haxorus too then Druddigon and Altaria just because they have less..."power displays" compared those list. But again, your rp your decisions :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Wait Druddigon is overpowered? When I think of Psuedo-legends I think of Dragonite, Garchomp, Metagross. The things that are in like OU and Ubers XD I rather ban Flygon and Haxorus too then Druddigon and Altaria just because they have less..."power displays" compared those list. But again, your rp your decisions :3 Oops Typo I meant Hydreigon lol. Will edit that prev post to erase my embarrassing error :x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Color Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Oh okay XD I was confused for a moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nico Nico Nii~ Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 The post has been posted, if you want me to change anything then say so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullkin Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 ((Okay, Kael has been created for the most part. I'm not sure what pokemon I'd like to have for his partner....perhaps Shinx, who'll eventually become a Luxray?)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 ((Okay, Kael has been created for the most part. I'm not sure what pokemon I'd like to have for his partner....perhaps Shinx, who'll eventually become a Luxray?)) Having a Shinx might be a liability for the rest of the squad. Is it okay for you to start with a Luxray instead? Or at least a Luxio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 The post has been posted, if you want me to change anything then say so.i apologise in advance for double post; a merger would be much appreciated.Well... The Church of Dawn doesn't practice hypnosis. Indoctrination yes, hypnosis not so much. How about making her a runaway from a convent? (In this universe, every 1 in 3 female children born must be surrendered to the church) If you adopt this suggestion, though, do note that she will likely have grown up knowing nothing but the church's doctrine, and her thoughts should reflect that. If you'd rather stick to your original story, please remove the hypnosis bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullkin Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 ((Sure. Luxray it is. :3 Her name can be Lex, and she can have Intimidate. Moveset: Crunch, Fire Fang, Discharge, and Charge beam.)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 ((Sure. Luxray it is. :3 Her name can be Lex, and she can have Intimidate. Moveset: Crunch, Fire Fang, Discharge, and Charge beam.)) "Her" name is "Lex"? ._. Okay. Note that you have no limit on the number of moves she can learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 (edited) Just a quick question....how Post-apocalyptic is this world? Like what is the Technology level? is it still there? or has a lot of it been destroyed? *Edit* another Question I forgot lol......are egg moves allowed? (I am just curious since I would like to have dark pulse on my Houndoom, but I can get by with out it lol) *Edit 2* Also I assume my Character is in order, since you haven't said anything lol? (I could expand his backstory a bit.....but might think of that later.....especially since I want a bit more of a mysterious air...) Edited September 29, 2013 by Hukuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nico Nico Nii~ Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 Okay Acquiescence I replaced the hypnosis part with indoctrinated. I was actually meaning to replaced that part, but I guess I must've forgotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustytengo Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 (edited) so i decided to have some fun and actually give my character a back story. Josh was born before the spread of Dawnisum allowing him to spend some of his childhood care free form the worries of current times. That all changed at the age of ten when his father who was considered to be a strong trainer decided to try and stop Dawns rise to power. His father never returned from that attempt. Leaving Josh in the care of his mother, as well as a young Bulbasaur which would one day become his partner. As Josh and the Bulbasaur that became known as Bruiser grew up Josh into one of the strongest trainers around his area due to his intelligence and instinct in battles though he would never kill or severely injuring any person or Pokemon.During that time his home became under attack by a gang of people who calmed that they worked for the Church of Dawn. Josh battle against them and drove them form his home.After he did that he gained followers that grew into a small resistance against the Church of Dawn. Though they where not as big as team Dusk The resistance fought the best they could against it. They really never made any head way as Josh would of preferred only managing to interrupt a few functions of the Church of Dawn that caused some of the people fallowing him to be captured. Those people where eventually broken and reviled things about Josh's resistance including about Josh's mother. Josh disbanded his resistance after the Church of Dawn took his mother away to be never seen again. Josh even though he decided to never get other people involved in his fight still continued to do what he could to mess with the Church of Dawn. He did this by acting like an idiot well he was dealing with them outside of battles so they would not think that he was the trainer causing them the trouble. He would not ever let anyone get close to him in fear that if he did they would come to harm. He joined Team Dusk in hope after he accidentally got involved in one of there conflicts with the Church of Dawn hope because it was made up of powerful trainers they would be able to bring Dawn down form power and return the world back to how he remembered from his early childhood. if you want me to change any thing just tell me and i will or if you want me to move it i can. Edited September 30, 2013 by rustytengo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullkin Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 "Her" name is "Lex"? ._. Okay. Note that you have no limit on the number of moves she can learn. Just curious...Why do you find that odd? It confuses me a bit. Actually, I think I'll make her male and name him Kaine instead. :/ I like that name more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) Just curious...Why do you find that odd? It confuses me a bit. Actually, I think I'll make her male and name him Kaine instead. :/ I like that name more. Lex just doesn't strike me as a female name. Lexi, or Lexy, maybe. Lex? Not so much. Just a quick question....how Post-apocalyptic is this world? Like what is the Technology level? is it still there? or has a lot of it been destroyed? *Edit* another Question I forgot lol......are egg moves allowed? (I am just curious since I would like to have dark pulse on my Houndoom, but I can get by with out it lol) *Edit 2* Also I assume my Character is in order, since you haven't said anything lol? (I could expand his backstory a bit.....but might think of that later.....especially since I want a bit more of a mysterious air...) This world isn't post-apocalyptic at all. It's dystopian. So technology is pretty advanced. The state of tech is exactly how you'd expect it to be in 2033. So think hovercars, magnet trains, sleek, steel skyscrapers and the like. Egg moves are fine. You're going to need every advantage you can get, trust me Your character is fine. Okay Acquiescence I replaced the hypnosis part with indoctrinated. I was actually meaning to replaced that part, but I guess I must've forgotten. Mostly okay, but you seem to be somewhat misunderstanding the implication of indoctrination. Indoctrination is subtle, unnoticable. A ten-year old girl would not be able to pick it up. Indoctrination would appear as nothing more than an unexplainable, gradual change. You could change this: " But surprise the Church of the Goddess had indoctrinated her whole family and soon that family was all about the church and nothing about family values unless it involved the church." to "But then her family started getting obsessed with the ideology of the Church of Dawn. Soon, she no longer found love in her household; it had been replaced with simply a fervent devotion to Dawn." so i decided to have some fun and actually give my character a back story. Josh was born before the spread of Dawnisum allowing him to spend some of his childhood care free form the worries of current times. That all changed at the age of ten when his father who was considered to be a strong trainer decided to try and stop Dawns rise to power. His father never returned from that attempt. Leaving Josh in the care of a young Bulbasaur that would one day become his partner and his mother. As Josh and the Bulbasaur that became known as Bruiser grew up Josh became known as the protector of his neighborhood from Dawns goons as he called them. During that time Josh grew into one of the strongest trainers around his area due to his intelligence and instinct in battles though he would never kill or severely injuring any person or Pokemon. He eventually gained followers that grew into a small resistance though no where as big as team Dusk. The resistance was made more up of people afraid and looking for Josh for protection from Dawns men. They really never made any head way as would of preferred only managing to interrupt a few functions of the Church of Dawn that caused some of the people fallowing him to be captured. Those people where eventually broken and reviled things about Josh's resistance including about Josh's mother. Josh disbanded his resistance after the Church of Dawn took his mother away to be never seen again. Josh even though he decided to never get other people involved in his fight still continued to do what he could to mess with the Church of Dawn. He did this by acting like an idiot well he was dealing with them outside of battles so they would not think that he was the trainer causing them the trouble. He would not ever let anyone get close to him in fear that if he did they would come to harm. He joined Team Dusk in hope after he accidentally got involved in one of there conflicts with the Church of Dawn hope because it was made up of powerful trainers they would be able to bring Dawn down form power and return the world back to how he remembered from his early childhood. if you want me to change any thing just tell me and i will or if you want me to move it i can. Well. Firstly, just to clarify: there are no "men" among Dawn's underlings. She acts through the acolytes and priestesses of the Church of Dawn, which are exclusively female. Secondly, there would be no need to "protect his neighborhood from Dawn's goons" as the followers of the Church of Dawn do not indiscriminately abuse or mistreat people. If anything, they're more likely to completely ignore the village unless it actively does something to threaten the Church's position - and the actions of your character's father would not be sufficient justification for them to bother with the village. He probably got destroyed by one of the Redeemers (oops. Spoiler. You'll meet them eventually) anyway. Everything else is more or less fine. Also, punctuation. "Leaving Josh in the care of a young Bulbasaur that would one day become his partner and his mother." is kind of awkward. It seems like the Bulbasaur is his mother ._. Commas make the world go round. The sentence should be "Leaving Josh in the care of his mother, as well as a young Bulbasaur which would one day become his partner." Edited September 30, 2013 by Acquiescence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) Oh sorry, my brain imploded....since I saw the post-apocalyptic tag at the top lol. anyway glad to hear there is a lot of tech lol, what my chartecter likes. I am looking forward to this, the lore sounds great and is really interesting lol. (it is getting my lore writing mind running lol, which is why i want to write a backstory for my character specfic to this world, but I don't know enough of the lore, and I don't ever overstep my boundries and try writing within anothers lore without having a good understanding of it lol) (I don't wan to know anymore of the lore though.....since I don't want to lose the magic, I want to see how this unfolds) . Anyway good Edited September 30, 2013 by Hukuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullkin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Oh alright. Kaine sounds cooler than Lex anyway. Mmmm....I smell porkchops... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) Oh sorry, my brain imploded....since I saw the post-apocalyptic tag at the top lol. anyway glad to hear there is a lot of tech lol, what my chartecter likes. I am looking forward to this, the lore sounds great and is really interesting lol. (it is getting my lore writing mind running lol, which is why i want to write a backstory for my character specfic to this world, but I don't know enough of the lore, and I don't ever overstep my boundries and try writing within anothers lore without having a good understanding of it lol) (I don't wan to know anymore of the lore though.....since I don't want to lose the magic, I want to see how this unfolds) . Anyway good Oops. Will edit that out now. Some basic things about the lore that you can use that don't quite impact the story: One in Three girls born into the world MUST be given up to the Church to be trained as acolytes. The initiation ceremony for the acolytes of the Church involves pitting all acolytes against each other in battle, with the strongest three becoming full-fledged Priestesses. Society is largely matriarchal due to the them following a Goddess, which elevates the female gender. The entire world is under the influence of Dawn. Hope you can do some stuff with that, though it's more or less just stuff about the Church. If you want more info about the World, feel free to PM me; I'll tell you anything so long as it isn't a potential spoiler. On a seperate note, We need 3 more recruits before we can start things proper. Edited September 30, 2013 by Acquiescence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) I am going to wait a bit.......my character is more the mysterious type anyway......and I wan to formulate him a bit more (I like to play out a character a bit before I give them a backstory lol). P.S. I have created a campaign world from Scratch for D and D, I know a bit of loring...but i am a bit shaky on Character stuff still lol. Why it is getting me all excited lol. Edited September 30, 2013 by Hukuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullkin Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I am going to wait a bit.......my character is more the mysterious type anyway......and I wan to formulate him a bit more (I like to play out a character a bit before I give them a backstory lol). P.S. I have created a campaign world from Scratch for D and D, I know a bit of loring...but i am a bit shaky on Character stuff still lol. Why it is getting me all excited lol. My character doesn't have a backstory yet either. We could be backstory-less buddies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 I am going to wait a bit.......my character is more the mysterious type anyway......and I wan to formulate him a bit more (I like to play out a character a bit before I give them a backstory lol). P.S. I have created a campaign world from Scratch for D and D, I know a bit of loring...but i am a bit shaky on Character stuff still lol. Why it is getting me all excited lol. Because characters are love! Characters are life! Characters make the world go round~~~~~~~~~~~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomas Elliot Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Just posting to notify that I am alive. I got some problems today, will rework what needs to be reworked tomorrow, it is 3 AM here right now, and I really need to sleep... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustytengo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) so basically the world is somewhat similar to Drow elf society in the forgotten realms in dungeons and dragons with the women being in charge and with the devotion to there goddess just to compare it to something that i know about anyway. so i will change it around and make so things clearer and fix that one thing you said to fix but in general by men i just kind of ment people who fallow her not men as in male. but i can change that to some sort of gang or something that claimed that they worked for her or something. Edited September 30, 2013 by rustytengo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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