[OOC/Signup] As Gods Sleep. . .

[Chevaleresse]

I don't see Pokemon being Trainers, but they could coach/teach other pokes.

[Noir]

I guess I'll put my OC here.

Name: Debronee

Species and appearance: Bisharp, with a deformed right arm that has an extra blade on the elbow, and a scar on his right eye.

Age: 30

Personality: Secretive, silent, aloof, aggressive, merciless, (indirectly) helpful and compassionate, likes to work alone.

Background:

Debronee (formerly a Pawniard) was born under two strong parents (and had a young sister) who were skilled fighters that taught him in the ways of battle and war. Debronee showed remarkable talent at a young age, and possessed a happy bond with his family. However, such happy times diminished as Cyrus' men abducted the family and tortured them with their experiments after the time-space shift (where Debronee had developed his deformed eye and scar), hoping to make them stronger genetically and using them to further process with his plans for the world. Debronee was the only one who survived; his parents and beloved younger sister were killed. Driven by incredible anger and spite, Debronee evolved in the midst of the cruel tortures and seeks revenge on the people who had murdered his family, vowing to annihilate anyone whose goal is to dominate the lives of others.

Harboring intense hatred of evilly ambitious humans (especially Cyrus) and intolerant of bullying or other despicable acts of injustice, Debronee is notorious for hunting down bad Pokemon with his unmatched swordsmanship. Like his parents, Debronee fought for justice and justice alone. While Debronee may not seem like a good person to hang out with, in reality Debronee does not want anyone to suffer the same fate as he did-- under any cost. Debronee also believes that resentment is a source of his strength, deeming that "turning soft" would diminish it. Regardless, Debronee is indirectly very protective of his (unsurprisingly few) allies he has associated with.

Edited April 15, 2014 by YagamiNoir4896

[K_H]

Thanks, Murdoc.

anyways, i asked because i was planning on joining, and i wanted to see the boundaries of what could and could not be a part of this.

[EDIT]- i deleted this entry due to it being too Sue-ish.

Edited April 15, 2014 by K_H

[Ojama Yellow]

I can't help to see Sues in that one.

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

Thanks, Murdoc.

anyways, i asked because i was planning on joining, and i wanted to see the boundaries of what could and could not be a part of this.

Here goes. I hope it's good.

Name: Kenny

Species: Lucario (Lv 14, inner focus)

Age: 14, as far as he knows.

Appearance: Shiny, and with the markings of a Pikachu, but with blue instead of red patches, due to a random mutation during "The Event".

Backstory: he was originally from a different set of dimensions. When he was a Riolu, he was the only Shiny out of the thirty-odd other Riolus and Lucarios in his pack. even though he felt like a misfit due to his difference, (even though he'd not gotten his strange markings that are atypical of a Shiny Lucario,) he still was close friends with four other Riolus, as well as a Lucario. one day, he and his friends were exploring the ruins of a Human City (Humans had gone extinct long ago in his world, the last one dying from disease a few years after Kenny was born), when they found this strange scroll, which contained the prophecy that would forever change Kenny. it was called "The Prophecy of Tolus", and it went something like this: "As the One matures, he shall find that he has unusual powers beyond those of any ordinary Creature. He shall be faced with a Challenge that No Other has faced, or ever will face. the One shall be the stabilizing force in the time of great Chaos, and will be with new allies, who help him in unlocking his Inner Power, and enabling him to Reawaken the Ancient Ones. He who Reads this Scroll first shall be part of the Collective that contains the One, and the One shall hear him say this Prophecy." seconds later, in the other set of dimensions, Cyrus Prevailed. the ground shook, and holes appeared in the fabric of space-time. the resulting shockwaves caused the ruins to collapse on top of where Kenny and his friends would have been, had Kenny not used Detect to find the scroll, as well as know exactly how long they had to be in the ruins. they barely made it out of there alive. however, what happened next, no one could have predicted. portals between worlds formed, destabilizing the plains, and causing Kenny to get separated from his friends. as he fell through the portal, he evolved, and the radiation caused a strange mutation, giving him his markings. he then found himself in the Distortion Dimension, and saw an earth that looked like an alien world. the world had been scarred from the incident that had happened. suddenly, he was sucked through the portal, being lobbed into the air above what became a mountain as the rift closed. as he plummeted to the ground, he swore to take revenge on the one who had turned this world into a barren wasteland. he landed in a steep valley nearby, and the impact left him with just 10 HP.

Just a few things, there aren't levels in this rp for pokemon. 2. your character is a huge Sue. One shouldn't be from an alternate dimension or a Prophisized(not sure how on earth to spell this lol.) hero. THis gives your character strange qualities that scream Sue. One should never be clearly above and beyond their allies, or ever said to do something of note, this automatically makes them better and more important than everyone else's characters, and ruins the point of the RP. The fact that you made him shiny also isn't a good sign. Since being shiny doesn't really do anything but change colour, it is an underhanded way to say, look at my character, he is better than all of yours. Shinies being a rare thing in the Pokemon universe, even if it was not your intent, that is what it comes off like, so I also recommend changing that.

http://www.pokemonreborn.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=5403 here this link has some info on character writing, it also has a section on Mary Sues, and what they are so you know what I am getting at. I am really not trying to be a jerk, but your character will be very toxic to the rp in this state, and definitely won't be accepted until it sees some revision.

Also just a question, did you use any of the Character Creation Methods that are in the Original Post, or did you just pick a Mon for your character? (This isn't condemning you, there where just specified ways to for your species to get picked in the Original post.)

Edited April 15, 2014 by Hukuna

[K_H]

sorry, didn't realize. i am embarrassed.

Edited April 15, 2014 by K_H

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

Don't be, especially if you are new to RPing. I have a feeling you are. and either way we all do it by accident sometimes. I had one in this very RP that was, because I didn't execute what I was trying to do properly. Either way, I rewrote him a bit by removing the parts that were Sue-ish, and he was then accepted. I suggest reading that Link I posted, it may help ya out. And just remember I am not picking on you, I am just trying to make sure everybody has a good time. (Sues are actually not only annoying for other players, they are actually boring to play, and quickly grow old, so this is as much for you as it is everybody else. good luck with your character if you continue to try and join us for the RP, otherwise feel free to read along.)

[K_H]

oh. i actually deleted that entry, so i could start from scratch. i'll take the quiz, and i'll pick my mon from those available in that type.

[K_H]

here's the result:

i'm thinking about doing Oshawott. any suggestions for other mons?

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

I will refrain. So far I try to suggest Mons I feel really suit people. I don't know you the best so I don't feel I can pick something good for ya. Good luck though, hopefully people see this and shoot some stuff your way so you have a bit more mons to mull over and think of playing lol.

[K_H]

OK. here goes:

Name: Kenny

Species: Oshawott (Male, Lv 14, Torrent)

Age: 14

Appearance: pretty much normally colored, but has a circular indigo-colored mark on his back, he has a blue-tinted Scalchop, and wears a bracelet that has a blue sapphire and a white diamond, symbolizing the bond that he and his trainer shared.

Personality: hard to get to, but once you know him well, he's a nice guy. he's still mentally scarred by what happened at the Cataclysm, though. oh, and he doesn't like being inside of a pokeball. he'll go into one, but only if he decides to.

Backstory: in his early days, he was very friendly to the other people and pokemon. one day, he met Prof. Juniper, who took him to the Unova region. there, he became the starter for one of the trainers. that's when the Cataclysm happened. his trainer was lost to the void in a space-time rift, and Kenny was frightened by this, becoming very cold on the outside. as he watched, helpless to retrieve his trainer, the rift closed, separating them.

Kenny then fled, with only the bracelet that held a piece of blue Sapphire and a white Diamond next to each other, which he'd received for their 1-year anniversary, to remember him by. he wandered for days, lost and confused, surrounded by a dense forest. he eventually found his way out, only to find that he was stuck between a city and the forest he'd just left. when he spotted some humans, he fled, having encountered some that had tried to kill him while lost in the forest, and some that had tried to catch him, but he'd blocked the beams with his Scalchop. after fleeing the city, he got lost yet again. weeks passed, and the forest gradually became his home. seeking a different shelter each day, he roams the forest, hoping to be with someone who won't try to kill him or use him as a tool, much like how he and his trainer were close friends.

Edited April 21, 2014 by K_H

[Jory]

Hey K_H, good to have you here! Just a quick tip: If you work on your grammar, it makes it easier for us to read your posts. In addition, it'll help you do better in school or whatever.

[Code: PIRULUK]

Run-on sentences errrywhar

[K_H]

it's good to be here. thing is, i'm only available 2:15-9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays, and 3:30-9:00 tuesdays and thursdays. weekends and other non-school days, however, are good to go, unless i notify you guys of Vacation trips.

[Ojama Yellow]

OK. here goes:

Name: Kenny

Species: Oshawott (Lv 14,Torrent)

Age: 14

Appearance: pretty much normally colored, but has a circular indigo-colored mark on his back, he has a blue-tinted Scalchop, and wears a bracelet that has a blue sapphire and a white diamond, symbolizing the bond that he and his trainer shared.

Personality: hard to get to, but once you know him well, he's a nice guy. he's still mentally scarred by what happened at the Cataclysm, though. oh, and he doesn't like being inside of a pokeball. he'll go into one, but only if he decides to.

Backstory: in his early days, he was very friendly to the other people and pokemon. one day, he met Prof. Juniper, who took him to the Unova region. there, he became the starter for one of the trainers. that's when the Cataclysm happened. his trainer was lost to the void in a space-time rift, and Kenny was frightened by this, becoming very cold on the outside. as he watched, helpless to retrieve his trainer, the rift closed, separating them.

Kenny then fled, with only the bracelet that held a piece of blue Sapphire and a white Diamond next to each other, which he'd received for their 1-year anniversary, to remember him by. he wandered for days, lost and confused, surrounded by a dense forest. he eventually found his way out, only to find that he was stuck between a city and the forest he'd just left. when he spotted some humans, he fled, having encountered some that had tried to kill him while lost in the forest, and some that had tried to catch him, but he'd blocked the beams with his Scalchop. after fleeing the city, he got lost yet again. weeks passed, and the forest gradually became his home. seeking a different shelter each day, he roams the forest, hoping to be with someone who won't try to kill him or use him as a tool, much like how he and his trainer were close friends.

Wow. I really like this one. Quite smart to consider yourself a starter before the Cataclysm. And by the way...has anyone even noticed the post down here?

I guess I'll put my OC here.

Name: Debronee

Species and appearance: Bisharp, with a deformed right arm that has an extra blade on the elbow, and a scar on his right eye.

Age: 30

Personality: Secretive, silent, aloof, aggressive, merciless, (indirectly) helpful and compassionate, likes to work alone.

Background:

Debronee (formerly a Pawniard) was born under two strong parents (and had a young sister) who were skilled fighters that taught him in the ways of battle and war. Debronee showed remarkable talent at a young age, and possessed a happy bond with his family. However, such happy times diminished as Cyrus' men abducted the family and tortured them with their experiments after the time-space shift (where Debronee had developed his deformed eye and scar), hoping to make them stronger genetically and using them to further process with his plans for the world. Debronee was the only one who survived; his parents and beloved younger sister were killed. Driven by incredible anger and spite, Debronee evolved in the midst of the cruel tortures and seeks revenge on the people who had murdered his family, vowing to annihilate anyone whose goal is to dominate the lives of others.

Harboring intense hatred of evilly ambitious humans (especially Cyrus) and intolerant of bullying or other despicable acts of injustice, Debronee is notorious for hunting down bad Pokemon with his unmatched swordsmanship. Like his parents, Debronee fought for justice and justice alone. While Debronee may not seem like a good person to hang out with, in reality Debronee does not want anyone to suffer the same fate as he did-- under any cost. Debronee also believes that resentment is a source of his strength, deeming that "turning soft" would diminish it. Regardless, Debronee is indirectly very protective of his (unsurprisingly few) allies he has associated with.

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

I did, I was typing something up for it, but got interrupted lol. There is definitely Sue Qualities in it though (for me anyway.) Since his Personality collides with itself. One can't be Merciless, and Compassionate, it makes no sense. I know it says indirectly, but one isn't indirectly Compassionate, that is something you know you are doing, not something that can be done by accident. With the background, I doubt he would even be able to be compassionate anymore after the shit he has been trough. I don't like the backstory much either, as he has a revenge plot against people we can only assume are dead. His Hatred being his strength will not allow him to interact with anyone properly IMO. Vindictive, Hate filled characters are not good for RPing in most situations. If they start that way they have only one goal, see my revenge plot to the end, and they just become about that revenge plot. It isn't very good for characters in RPs because it is hugely One-Dimensional, and they cannot grow, while that hatred and revenge plot Leech off their very essence as a character, usually turning them into a monster or worse. They can achieve no real growth while the revenge plot is still going on, and rarely will afterwards. I have a lot of problems with Revenge plots as they are highly toxic to RPs, and I have experience with it ruining an entire D and D campaign rather quickly. It quickly became about that character, and frankly, revenge driven characters when thrust into the Limelight show all their flaws and how boring of characters they are. Trust me steering away from Revenge plots is a good idea if you want a believable character to RP. Trust me on this, I know what I am talking about lol.

[Flux]

Wow. I really like this one. Quite smart to consider yourself a starter before the Cataclysm. And by the way...has anyone even noticed the post down here?

I did too... "sniff" But... you didn't call me smart... "sniff" :'(

[Raindrop Valkyrie]

Not sure about Bibs, but I know you are good character writing so don't get to sad man. (also I don't think Bibs had dived into My Realm, or the Rolplaying Section, of the the forums yet at that point, but I could be wrong on that lol.)

[Flux]

Not sure about Bibs, but I know you are good character writing so don't get to sad man. (also I don't think Bibs had dived into My Realm, or the Rolplaying Section, of the the forums yet at that point, but I could be wrong on that lol.)

I was talking about the being a starter part, but thanks anyway. I was just joking around anyway.

[K_H]

hey, guys, i just read some of the older posts, and noticed that some of our OCs are wandering in a forest. also, those forests are next to cities... possibly parts of Reborn City, but maybe not. it's possible that Reborn City might have been split in half during the Cataclysm, due to the fact that the Peridot ward is still stable. also, there is a forest and a jungle next to the Jasper and Beryl wards, respectively. just speculation on my part.

Edited April 16, 2014 by K_H

[Chevaleresse]

Reborn City was split, actually. Peridot Ward and most of the lake are pretty much all that's in this area.

[K_H]

here's another bit of coincidence: the forest that is next to Jasper Ward is near Azurine Lake. the only thing separating the two is a factory, which may have collapsed in the Cataclysm. just sayin.

oh, and i think that the mountain mentioned is probably the volcano called "Pyrous Mountain", although i could be wrong.

Edited April 17, 2014 by K_H

[Ojama Yellow]

I actually wasn't planning to post yet, but the RP was so...quiet these days, I decided to do my post already. I don't feel like it's already time to reach the valley.

[K_H]

i agree with you on that bit. it HAS been quiet lately. however, just because it's a little to early to get to the valley doesn't mean that the OCs cannot head towards the valley.

on an unrelated side note, next post is the 200th post on this topic.

Edited April 17, 2014 by K_H

[Ojama Yellow]

And I will claim it. It doesn't make a lot of sense after everyone tries to reach the mountain, suddenly changes their mind and goes for the valley.