Please tell me...about what you think of me and the way i come across.

[chuckles]

I recently found out that i am considered annoying and condescending at times. i don't mean to be. and so i do not understand....how not to be. i don't want people to dislike me or for anybody to be irritated or offended by me, but the way i speak is...different from that of other people. So i am making this thread for information. I need to know what people think, and why, preferably in detail. I must need to change the way i speak in some way because i did not even know how people felt at all.

I am very serious about this. i'm lost and i don't know how i should communicate anymore. So please, help me understand this and help me talk to people in a way that does not annoy or offend them in any way. i don't want to be that person and i don't want to be viewed in a negative way at all so i need to...change my speech patterns, perhaps the words, the phrases, the style...anything and everything that is taken as offensive or irritating. i can't do this on my own without more information, so please help me.

[Amethyst]

Humility is a virtue and less is more.

[Shamitako]

So you're not just the in-house entertainment?

All joking aside, I think you're fine. But considering my own tendencies to inadvertently insult people, I'm not certain how much my opinion is worth

[chuckles]

Humility is a virtue and less is more.

so i should talk less?

or just show less detail?

i am actually pretty humble though, or at least mentally. i know people never seem to think so, i suppose it's from the way i talk about stuff. Admittedly, when i am...passionate about an opinion of mine i tend to say a lot about it and i might get a bit argumentative. i don't mean to, i get...excited. Bad habit for sure. Also sometimes i state what i perceive to be facts about myself and it comes across as bragging, which i understand but i'm not sure how to get a point or some information across without seeming like i am bragging to other people.

i feel really guilty when i offend people and i really don't want anybody to be upset with me, if possible i want everybody to be happy all the time. Perhaps that is naive but i'd like to do whatever i can.

Edited March 25, 2014 by chuckles

[Tenshine]

Smiley faces. Smiley faces always help <--- See, you can REALLY tell how happy I am.

and now I'm a flippin' ninja.

[Vasyl]

While I can't say I know you I would say just be more careful in the future, if someone is offended by something you say then ask yourself how serious you should devote to defending yourself.

a famous quote I will put here is "you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time."

example: I don't like dogs, I just don't. Some people think they are the greatest pet to have in the world. I think a cat is better. This fact pissed someone off once on another forum and they tried to convince me otherwise. They obviously failed and now I don't speak with them. Most people wouldn't bother getting as upset over it as they did. I honestly don't know what exactly I said that set them off. but point is people get upset over some of the most random stuff. Just be yourself and be careful of what you say if you don't want to offend someone.

Edited March 25, 2014 by Vasyl

[Zinarei]

A bit late to the party, but better late than never. I figured this is probably still relevant to you. First I would like to say that you are who you are. Bettering yourself is great, but that's different than changing who you are. For example, I was always a pretty nice guy but I had horrible table manners. I fixed that, so I bettered myself, effectively becoming less "annoying". As long as you don't change who you are, bettering yourself is fine. But don't be fake or lie to yourself. Some would say that being a cosplayer is weird or unacceptable, but I rock my cosplays without regard for what others think.

I don't know you, but here's what I can tell you by how you type:

Now, I don't know how old you are. Judging from the way you type I would assume you're somewhere in high school or late middle school. The way someone types tells a lot about their personality. If you type eloquently, you will come off as knowing what you're talking about or being a condescending jerk. I have troubles with that myself sometimes. By the same token though, if you type without any regard for proper punctuation (forget grammar) people will see you as lazy or annoying. Or in this case young. Another thing; don't use this "...". Adding three periods after your sentences is often hard to look at. One thing you should consider is saying a lot with as few words as possible. Again, something I'm not that good at, but it's a glorious skill.

Important: We all have opinions. I could have stated my opinion in many occasions that would have made someone felt uncomfortable or mad. I didn't because I knew that my opinion would not have been welcomed. Don't always tell people how you feel. If it's really important, then do it, but otherwise don't do it. I remember this one time in middle school back in the stone ages when my friend kept pestering me about how God doesn't exist. I was pretty religious at the time, and I didn't want to hear it. He obnoxiously fired his opinions at me until one day I hit him over the head with a metal pencil sharpener and called it a day. Don't be the guy who gets hit over the head with metal pencil sharpeners.

You can't make everyone happy. Remember that. But you don't need to make everyone happy. Just those who matter. Who matters? Only you can say.

[Bluewolf]

What Zini said.

Its all about the way you 'phrase' what you are saying. At one point I felt like people were just happier if I talked less; they were happy, so was I. That didn't help anything and just made me look apathetic. You don't need to change your personality, just the way you convey what you mean. Like your tone for example; if your in a chat room (like PO), sometimes a correctly placed comma, period or even smiley face could help you with telling a person how you really feel. If its irl then use upbeat tones and body gestures to convey positive feelings, and vice versa for negative ones. I had trouble with this too in the past to the point where I was cryptic and people just didn't know what to think of me. But you're a great guy and both you and I know that. And do stop talking, that'll make worse, MUCH worse. And sometimes you might just have to come out and say "I'm serious", "I'm very happy for you, honestly" or "I really appreciate that" sometimes. No ones perfect at it and everybody has a different way of doing it. But you'll be fine, promise