Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) His anger isn't really making him stronger, it is just clouding his vision or his reception on what it going on. (or at least what I think is happening.) The Berserker's Trance is something much different form this. ( Though I get what you mean Typh lol.). Here's hoping I don't have to kill off a character even before the battle starts lol. Oh and another Character Song this time for Jupiter. will be adding to list, think I should do it at the main post, but I think I will always make a post about new ones I add lol. Jupiter (There are actually Guns in Graterras, though they are rare, mostly steam powered armaments from Shifting Sands. They take significant training to not blow off your own hand or worse, so highly doubt of any of you guys being able to actually use one.) Edited June 8, 2014 by Hukuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jory Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 Sorry for the lack of posting @_@ Trying not to give too much away about Dru just yet. He's supposed to be a little enigmatic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chim Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 Oh sorry, I wrote that part when I was tired and it's a bit confusing now I read it back. But Sigurd was pointing his sword towards Bjorn because he was expecting an attack. He's still holding Orpheaus with one hand though, but I'll fix it in the next post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 (edited) Yea, I am afraid not going to be changing my posts too much, Orpheaus would till feel he is under attack by you. (A lot less of a chance he will be using Deadly force to dislodge you, but still he is on edge, I mean you did sneak up behind him and grab him, how is he supposed to know you aren't trying to kill him.). i will remove the mention of the blade, but everything else will stand as of right now. Oh and Flux, just so you know, Steele is sort of lying to you about your illusions not working, some still will. He just doesn't want you to die at his expense, so up to you if you stay, though it will get very dicey as the Lesser Undead are coming. Edited June 10, 2014 by Hukuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notus Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 oops, slight name swap between Marcus and Xavier there Hukuna. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 I will switch it lol, sorry (I will probably do this alot as the are both Fire Templars lol.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chevaleresse Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 It's extra weird because I'm Marcus in another RP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 That too lol (so yea, that isn't helping......), I might eventually get it....but it will take some time lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnar Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 damn this old man, lol. now i have a motivation in this war, to prove him wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Kinda the why Chauff does what he does. He always points out just exactly what your odds are, because he knows that will just spur you on to prove him wrong. Though if you outright called him on it he would deny it til the end of the Time itself. SO yes Chauff is a bit of an oddball curmudgeon geezer, but he means well. Him and Bjorn are meant to contrast heavily if it isn't obvious by now, as Bjorn is typically jolly and personable, while Chauff is well......Chauff. They realy are the best of friends, either though neither would ever admit it. (I mean they would have to be friends to tolerate each other lol.) I am definitely thinking of having them as a permanent fixture in the party, they add a contrast to all the people who fight. (I kinda want to add a splash of Non-combatants to the group to break up the monotony a bit. And mostly because I love Bjorn and Chauff alot lol.) Also was going to save this to the end of this chapter, but it is eating at me lol. What do you guys think of the project so far? How do you like my writing style and the way I portray characters within my world? Who are your favourite NPCs? Which NPCs peeve you off? Anything you guys think I can improve on? (oh and more NPC themes on the way, not really sure what I want for some of them, Chauff especially being hard, I don't know if I want a song that is like his attitude or portrays his background [he used to be a leader of a Nomadic Tribe in the Shifting Sands, but he was exiled, you have to talk to him to get more of that story though.]) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnar Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Chauff = 21 guns by Greenday. because he's a downer. Fav: shiny bastard Orpheaus Peeve: Do i even say it? lol Yeah,its great but its lacking battle scenes but i guess this chapter is for char build up and introduction, unlike the 1st one. somewhere mix between the two. moderate speed i guess. just my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 P.S. the end of this Chapter is a Giant Battle, so that will be riotous. After Nero gets back, things are going down, and crazy. (p.s. just for your info Flux I highly doubt you will defeat the Death Knight right now. He is pretty damn powerful, I don't think I will have to kill off your character though so don't worry about that.) ((Should add for Peeve that it can't be the Gentlemen, you actually haven't seen his full fleshed out character yet, as he is the main villain I can't spill all his secrets right away, so yea, his personality seems a bit skewed and one-dimensional at the moment.)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Yeah, I didn't think I would. But a guy can hope, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 A guy can hope though It might get very ugly very quickly. You will see, I have a fun little reveal about our friend Steele planned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notus Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Well Hukuna at the feedback topic, I for one love how Graterras is going. You have made it with a very high level of detail, and we're just in the begining so I guess it will get even better. The NPC's feel very real and I'm highly in doubt if my fav is Odin or the duo Björn and Chauff. As for peeve, the boy that asked Sigurd about the swords i guess, since it seems to be the only one with no depth XD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnar Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Oops, spoke too soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 and yea Notus, the boy wasn't meant for much depth, I honestly made him to see what Sigurd would do being compared to Orpheaus, that was an experiment to see if he could keep a level head. (before when Bjorn told him the story, because I knew that would set him off. Funnily, I can read Sigurd pretty well, as I set that entire thing up to play the way out the way it did. not saying you are predictable by the Chim, I can just read Sigurd like a book due to my RP experience lol.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Well, I suppose I haven't given any feedback yet. Here I go: What do you guys think of the project so far? Overall, it seems pretty good to me. I really enjoyed the beginning; that was a clever way to start things rolling. The in-between parts (crossing the bridge and the beginning parts of the village) weren't as interesting for me, but now things are looking up again. How do you like my writing style and the way I portray characters within my world? Overall, your writing is also very well done. There are some times where it seems a bit rushed, but that's understandable to me. (As an RP host myself, I've done the same thing a lot.) Sometimes I feel like many of your characters speak very similarly and lose some of their uniqueness there, but overall they still seem very interesting and unique. Who are your favourite NPCs? Hmm, that's a tough one. Nero hasn't interacted with many, so I'm going to base it off of what I've read in the other posts. I'd probably have to go with either Chauff or the Gentleman. I really like Chauff's personality and felt that you did a great job on his character. As for the Gentleman, I don't know a whole lot about his character, but his design sounded really good from the way you described it. Which NPCs peeve you off? Orpheas and Brass. Both of their personalities really annoy me, but its nothing you did wrong. I suppose I'll just have a bad first impression of the Victonari. Anything you guys think I can improve on? Not really. Just take a little more time on grammar I guess and try to create a little more unique styles of speech. (I say these more because I can't think of anything else to say, but you're already doing good on both parts.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 Yea, it is hard for me to vary up the speech pattern, that is why I have been describing what thier voices sound like.so you guys get an idea of what it might sound like if I was sitting across a table from you say DMing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Brass has a very gravely rough voice (representing his attunement with the Earth itself.), Orpheaus on the other hand has a flowing Royal speech pattern, since he is set up for something great, but that is part of a different arc. (He is basically being forced to become a King of his people, which are a dying race now due to some crazy things happening. That is all you are getting out of me for now, but now you understand what he is a bit relectunt to lead, he is being forced too. [His is a sort of King Arthur type character, and while he is actually physically stronger than you guys, he is actually weaker than you right now. His Inner Demons are holding back his true potential, and what causes him to be very melancholy. He probably has the greatest potential out of most of the characters I have created.) Gentleman's Armour also shows his views, He believes he is beyond good and Evil. (hence the Angel half and the Devil Half.) But both those halves represent Man when placed together, so he also believes he is superior to humans and the demi-human races. (this is why he treated you like absolute dirt when he fought you, to him you are trash and he doesn't value your lives or anything about your races. It is why he fought very dishonorably. He is actually a Lawful Evil Character. But in his code of ethics, humans and demi-humans are vermin to be eradicated.). You will learn some more about the Gentleman sooner or later (definitely something about him in Chapter 3, but it is nothing about his motives or his personality, to your characters he will remain very much a mystery.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chim Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 and yea Notus, the boy wasn't meant for much depth, I honestly made him to see what Sigurd would do being compared to Orpheaus, that was an experiment to see if he could keep a level head. (before when Bjorn told him the story, because I knew that would set him off. Funnily, I can read Sigurd pretty well, as I set that entire thing up to play the way out the way it did. not saying you are predictable by the Chim, I can just read Sigurd like a book due to my RP experience lol.) It's all good. Sigurd is supposed to be predictable right now since he has only one thing on his mind: being a well known warrior / hero. So it's rather easy to piss him off right now, especially with a character like Orpheaus around. (Sigurd actually thinks he's strong, but he will never admit it. He will just make things up instead of admitting he's wrong like in the argument with Marcus). The only exception might be when we get to hotter lands since he seriously can't stand the heat. As for the feedback on the NPC's: I agree with Flux. Chauff is my favourite and really realistic. Bjorn and Odin are enjoyable as well. And the female archer (I forgot her name) looks really interesting. Orpheaus on the other hand is kinda annoying for some reason. He gives me the feeling he wants people to feel sorry for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 He kinda does but doesn't. He is in an early cycle of his character growth, so yea that is why you could get that feeling. He doesn't understand how to be a leader right now. (That is why Brass is the true Leader of what is happening right now, though Brass knows more about Orpheaus then you guys do. It is hard to tell you guys about Orpheaus without letting things out of the bag much to early. If I let you understand the character, his growth won't mean much to you guys, you will see him grow, and learn his story. I think I said before that Orpheaus is the Foil of the Gentleman. The Gentleman is sure of his goals, as powerful as he ever will be, and knows how he chooses to rule. Orpheaus on the other hand is lost and doesn't know what he wants, he only knows what other people want him to do, which is rule his people, but he doesn't know if he himself wants that. Orpheaus now is very weak, compared to the infinite potential he has , and lastly, he has no idea how to lead, or where to begin. He was conditioned to do something he himself didn't even know if he wanted it. Keep this in mind as the story progresses. As Orpheaus gradually finds himself, The Gentleman will slowly regress. Keep an eye out for the hints. (in Chapter 3 I will be adding some posts under the header In A Far Away Place. These will be interactions between The Gentleman, His Imp Hastar, and another character you guys have yet to met. That is all you are getting from me on that, so don't ask for anymore. ) TL:DR Orpheaus and The Gentleman will probably be seen as odd characters. Their characterization has to be panned out more than the others, flaws with them will probably be easier seen than other characters. I can understand people not liking Orpheaus right now, he isn't supposed to be all that likable as it shows how he feels about himself. (and people who are like that tend to have trouble communicating to others.) The Gentleman is a bit different on that front, though it will become clearer once his motivations are revealed. ((And her Name is Jupiter, I picked that name for a reason, I wonder if any of you can guess why.)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 Hukuna Rant Over, goes to show I can't shut my yap when the TL:DR is half the length of the original rant..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 Oh and be prepared for the very forces of hell to descend upon you, The Battle of Passtrough Draws near. I will give you guys a chance to group up and talk to each other if you want but otherwise, I will soon be skipping up to the battle. It is going to be rough, crazy and full of action. (and maybe a few more surprise reveals.) Steele is a Steel Dragon by the way, and also is the dragon Orpheaus "Slew". So Orpheaus is not actually powerful enough to kill a Dragon, just persuasive enough to pull one out of a murderous rage. (Steel Dragons actually enjoy being around Humans and Demi-Human Races, and Steele's story isn't an important one, I won't go into too much detail. Sadly, he is going to die horribly.). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Well. Talk about plot twist. That was unexpected. So where did Nero land in the town? Or does it not matter, and I should just pick somewhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindrop Valkyrie Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 I intended for him to land outside a ways, I mean Steele is strong, but not that strong to throw him all the way. Steele sadly had to die at that point in time (and reveal he was a dragon), otherwise Nero would surely have died to the Death Knight. (do remember the Death Knight has a name, I just don't refer to him as it because Death Knights rarely will be, their names are removed from history. However you can't erase memories easily in the world of Graterras, and that is why Steele knew who he was. He was alive [though a very young Dragon], when the tales of our Death Knight Friend spread across the lands.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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