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So, someone mentioned Demonic Possession? yeah, if no one acts, who knows which Personality would pop up when he regains Consciousness!

[EDIT]: on an unrelated sidenote, this is the 1600th Reply.

Edited by K_H
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EDITED

Character name: GhostKiller (real name undefined)

Appearance: A young man with a good behaviour. He appears to have at him all the time a japanese sword, a muramasa. He's been observed that he carries two revolvers, two Colts 45.

Age: 20

Personality Overview:He likes what all 18 years boys like, appart from drugs and getting drunk. He's been observed that he likes smoking. He never gets upset, every attempt to get him angry failed. He isn't easy to find, his misteryous character making him strange.

Ability/Cost: He's got the ability to transform himself into a smoke mist and dash through objects. He can compress the smoke to make bullets for his guns no needing to reload them.He never seems to run out of smoke. In close combat, he uses an unique combat style, that beats all chineas and shaolin combat styles. HE uses his red muramasa sword to kill or subdue opponents. The cost of these powers is loosing control.Upon getting his powers, he was posses ba creature.Not spirit or demon. He just called it Black. On occasions during combat, the crature takes control and destrois everything. On Ghostkiller's face appears a black mask made of bone. The creature wants to take full control of him but he is defeated. Getting deeper in the Hill means getting the creature stronger.

Backstory: He was trained by his family of bountyhunters. When he found his unique sword, he left his home and went to a master on an ancient combat style.His daughter, a silent-type saw him as a rival.A few years later, he was attack by his family for the sword, his master getting kiled. He defeated the with ease, and warned them to not attack him again or try contact him, or he will kill them. The girl attacked him and got defeated. From the He just travels, with no point and the girl, called Jenn, following him.

That's my character. I hope it's good. Better now Rose? If not, then help me, I don't know.

Reborn Team

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Y2J Rorke Archer Daryl Jenn Logan

Edited by GhostKiller
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Hi GhostKiller! I'm Rose, the host de-facto as our actual host, Notus, is away at school. As for your character, I just have a couple of problems with him. The first is:

"The cost of these powers is health problems. He gets damage to the lungs.For that, he uses special-made injections made by an old friend that keeps regenerating his lungs."

Considering that he would have only gained this power upon entering the hill, I'm not sure that an old friend could have made him injections to combat this problem. If you can come up with a different ability cost, that would be great.

The second problem is:

"When his family dicoverd his powers, and the bounty for them, they decided to attack thim. He, seeing that, he was aware for that, using his powers and his unique sword, he defeated the with ease, with no scratch."

Again, he gains the unique powers upon entering the hill, he wouldn't have them in real life (he'd be a normal person). If you can change those two things, then we'll start talking about how to introduce your character.

*** *** ***

Response to editted character is here:

Ok, so I brought your character to someone with more experience than I have, and they've basically agreed with me. I have ideas on how to fix your character, but ultimately this is up to you. Below is one of the ways that you could change the character, that would be accepted. When looking at it, note that there are balances. A well-rounded character should generally have some flaws.

CHARACTER EXAMPLE

Name: GhostKiller (real name is unknown)

Appearance: A young man that's been sighted with two Colt 45s and a muramasa that he constantly keeps on him (insert things about his looks here; ie, hair color, eye color, height, clothing, so forth)

Age: 20

Personality Overview: GhostKiller is a well-mannered kid that occasionally has a cigarette once in awhile. He appears to be very easygoing, never truly getting angry with anyone, merely mildly annoyed. Over time, he has become difficult to locate due to his constant travelling. At the same time, he's become a little odd (give detail please) from his constant travel, making him mysterious.

Ability/Cost: GhostKiller has the ability to turn into smoke. By doing this, he can dash through obstacles that are in his way. However, the time he spends in this state affects his lungs, which can lead to minor breathing issues all the way to unconsciousness and the necessity of CPR.

Backstory: When he was little, GhostKiller was trained by his family, whose trade was bountyhunters, in the art of shooting. After completing a bounty mission, he took a muramasa from his victim and went off to learn how to fight with the sword. Upon returning to his family, a skilled swordsman but having let his shooting skills fall behind, they attacked him, intent on taking the sword. Injured, he managed to defeat them and told them that should they ever contact him again, he would kill them. Keeping the guns to remind himself of his family, he now travels the world, a skilled swordsman but an amateur gun shooter.

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@GK: IMO, the Close-quarters Combat Style bit seems very sue-ish, I'd recommend removing it entirely. The Smoke Bullets are ok as-is, other than still needing a Cost, but as for him never seeming to run out of Smoke, i'd consider changing it to him regenerating the smoke over a moderately-to-very long period of time. Also, a good cost for the Smoke Bullets is something along the lines of him being unable to use the smokedash Ability if he makes them too often, which i think should be something along the lines of making twenty-four Smoke Bullets within one minute. you can choose what rate you want to use, but i'd recommend making it similar to what I put. he'll obviously be able to get the Ability back, but it should probably be something along the lines of having to wait a certain amount of time after making the Bullets. Rose made a good suggestion for the cost of the smokedash Ability, I'd recommend using what she put.

Edited by K_H
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Hey, uh... Notus never actually told us where exactly in the world the hill was located, but I foung something I thought was rather... interesting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centralia,_Pennsylvania

Kinda like... it's sitting ontop of the gates to hell.

Just something to think about. :ph34r:

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To my knowledge it doesn't matter where it was/he didn't have a place where it was that I know of at least.

AND THAT IS MY HOME STATE!!! WHY SI ALL THE CREEPY SHIT IN PA?!?!!?!??!??!1!

I know it really doesn't matter where the entrance is in comparison to well... pretty much everything that's going on inside. just thought it was kinda cool...

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Guys, we have to get this moving please. Super is being waited on, I don't know where Rielly is... Come on, let's get the ball moving! Everyone finish up the scenes you're in now, I'm going to try to move things to the next step in the next day or so

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Character name: Calibray 'Cal' Headsworth

Appearance: Short, wavy dark brown hair and green/blue eyes that stand out against his pale skin. He stands at 5'10" and weighs around 9 1/2 stone. He is slim with a smight muscular build.

Age: 17

Personality Overview: A very adventurous guy. He likes to see new places and doesnt like staying in 1 place for too long. He is a genrally nice guy but he wont take any crap from nobody. He likes to keep to himself for the most part.

Backstory: Son to a wealthy man and woman. He grew up not wanting for anything. This however is not a thing he liked. He was bullied because others would say he is a spoilt little brat. He would look down on his hometown from the mansion on the hill and would always want to be down there with the rest of the town. His parents were never there for him, his father always away on business and his mother too busy designing the next big thing in fashion.

Cal started to save any monye he could get in hopes that one day he will move away from his town and travel the world and at 16 years olf he had enough for a boat ticket that would take him across the sea's. He packed his bags and didnt even tell his parents he was going. Upon entering the new land he found himself peniless and money was the biggest thing on his mind. That is when he heard of the hill...

Ability/Cost:

Ability- Upon entering the hill his senses magnified. Not only this but he gained the ability of flight and telekinisis.

Cost- He soon comes to realize he can't stay air born for too long without feeling tired. If he tries to push his powers of telekinisis he can fall unconcious for hours on end. Both of these abilities will take a huge toll on his body, basically killing him ever so slightly every time he uses them.

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((Hope you guys are still accepting!))


Character name: Eva Sharpe

Appearance: Short and olive-skinned with black hair that flops in her face all over the place, blue eyes. She wears dark greens and browns, brown cargo pants, a tan belt, tan undershirt, green T-shirt, dark green jacket with chest, base, and a single sleeve pocket on her left side. She has a backpack with side pockets, a main pocket, a middle pocket, and a front pocket. She carries a notebook, a first-aid kit, a folding knife, a lighter, and a survival kit. Attached to the bottom of the bag are two folding wrist-crutches.

Age: 19

Personality Overview: She's quiet and thoughtful and primarily chooses not to speak. She instead prefers sign-language, writing, or diagram-drawing. She's a bit too trusting but highly skittish. Intelligent but easily swayed as well.

Backstory: She was non-verbal for a long part of her life and was born with a fatigue disorder. She used a wheelchair for a long period of time, but chose to work on walking more the older she got. When she heard about the hill, though, she promised to abandon them instead for walking and sometimes using crutches. She didn't even know if she could do it, but she managed and is now ready to tackle The Hill, which is why she's so late to the party. Her only goal: proving herself.

Ability/Cost: She's got an ability to heal herself and others, but it only works to an extent, takes time to happen, and exhausts her. If she heals someone else she has to take on their malady, to an extent, and when she heals herself she exhausts herself more than healing others. She can stop bleeding, mend wounds, etc. but cannot bring people back to life or prevent scarring or remove larger problems. She cannot remove shrapnel or tumors, etc. with her ability but can cut them off from the main body, same with internal bleeding or infections.

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Wow, hi! I get home from work to find, not one, but TWO new folks? That's terrific! So, nice to meet you both, I'm Rose, our temporary host while the creator of this RP, Notus, is away at school. Let's see what we've got here...

Character name: Calibray 'Cal' Headsworth

Appearance: Short, wavy dark brown hair and green/blue eyes that stand out against his pale skin. He stands at 5'10" and weighs around 9 1/2 stone. He is slim with a smight muscular build.

Age: 17

Personality Overview: A very adventurous guy. He likes to see new places and doesnt like staying in 1 place for too long. He is a genrally nice guy but he wont take any crap from nobody. He likes to keep to himself for the most part.

Backstory: Son to a wealthy man and woman. He grew up not wanting for anything. This however is not a thing he liked. He was bullied because others would say he is a spoilt little brat. He would look down on his hometown from the mansion on the hill and would always want to be down there with the rest of the town. His parents were never there for him, his father always away on business and his mother too busy designing the next big thing in fashion.

Cal started to save any monye he could get in hopes that one day he will move away from his town and travel the world and at 16 years olf he had enough for a boat ticket that would take him across the sea's. He packed his bags and didnt even tell his parents he was going. Upon entering the new land he found himself peniless and money was the biggest thing on his mind. That is when he heard of the hill...

Ability/Cost:

Ability- Upon entering the hill his senses magnified. Not only this but he gained the ability of flight and telekinisis.

Cost- He soon comes to realize he can't stay air born for too long without feeling tired. If he tries to push his powers of telekinisis he can fall unconcious for hours on end. Both of these abilities will take a huge toll on his body, basically killing him ever so slightly every time he uses them.

Alright, this looks fine, welcome to hell UtH, Will! If you can expand on the limits of his telekinesis, that would be great.

((Hope you guys are still accepting!))
Character name: Eva Sharpe
Appearance: Short and olive-skinned with black hair that flops in her face all over the place, blue eyes. She wears dark greens and browns, brown cargo pants, a tan belt, tan undershirt, green T-shirt, dark green jacket with chest, base, and a single sleeve pocket on her left side. She has a backpack with side pockets, a main pocket, a middle pocket, and a front pocket. She carries a notebook, a first-aid kit, a folding knife, a lighter, and a survival kit. Attached to the bottom of the bag are two folding wrist-crutches.
Age: 19
Personality Overview: She's quiet and thoughtful and primarily chooses not to speak. She instead prefers sign-language, writing, or diagram-drawing. She's a bit too trusting but highly skittish. Intelligent but easily swayed as well.
Backstory: She was non-verbal for a long part of her life and was born with a fatigue disorder. She used a wheelchair for a long period of time, but chose to work on walking more the older she got. When she heard about the hill, though, she promised to abandon them instead for walking and sometimes using crutches. She didn't even know if she could do it, but she managed and is now ready to tackle The Hill, which is why she's so late to the party. Her only goal: proving herself.
Ability/Cost: She's got an ability to heal herself and others, but it only works to an extent, takes time to happen, and exhausts her. If she heals someone else she has to take on their malady, to an extent, and when she heals herself she exhausts herself more than healing others. She can stop bleeding, mend wounds, etc. but cannot bring people back to life or prevent scarring or remove larger problems. She cannot remove shrapnel or tumors, etc. with her ability but can cut them off from the main body, same with internal bleeding or infections.

Alright, you look great as well Tema! Welcome aboard, both of you!

I'm going to PM you both so that we can get you involved in the story ASAP, alright? Currently we're finishing up scenes, which I'm aiming to have done by today. Again, great to have you both, and welcome to hell~

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